What Not To Say To A Bullied Kid

Every parent wants nothing but the best for her child. As a mother, your ultimate goal is to see to it that your beloved kid experiences love and happiness at all times. However, some things are beyond your control. There will come a time when all your efforts to keep him safe and sound would still not make him feel protected. Unfortunately, other factors can hurt your child, which will make him feel indifferent to his friends or family members.

 

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One of the pressing issues that your child may be involved with is bullying, which usually happens at school. A recent study shows that bullied kids do not report the unbelievable acts committed by the bullies in the fear that they will appear weak. At the same time, they are also hesitant to talk to their elders because of the potential harm that they will receive once the bullies find out that they have been reported. For this reason, it becomes more difficult for parents to find out what is going on.

 

If you ever discover that your child has experienced bullying from his classmates or schoolmates, the first thing that you need to do is to talk to your kid. Make an effort to explain to him why bullying is bad and why he should have informed you about it earlier. Never approach the bullies without talking to a teacher or any officer-in-charge of the school. The best and ideal way to deal with the problem is to keep your cool. Focus on helping your child recover from the unfortunate event instead of planning on how to get back to the bullies.

 

 

At this point, it is vital to highlight that a bullied individual is a sensitive one. It means that he has a high tendency of getting offended or feeling harassed by the words he hears from others. Hence, it is essential on your part to be careful when it comes to talking to him. As much as possible, think twice before you will open your mouth. What you say can affect him in so many ways, which is why you must be careful.

 

Here are some of the lines or sentences that you must never say to a bullied kid:

 

“What Did You Do To Make The Bullies Hate You?”

 

These words are hurtful for it makes the bullied victim responsible for what the bullies did to him. At the same time, it is as if you are telling your kid that he is the reason why he was subjected to an embarrassing situation. Keep in mind that no matter what the reason is for bullying, the said act is still unacceptable. Stop blaming the victim. What you must do is to find a way to make him feel loved and appreciated. You must not end up being another bully that cause more emotional pain to him.

 

“Why Did You Not Fight Back?”

 

There are several reasons why your kid chose not to stand up against the bullies. Do not forget the reality that the bullies can cause intimidation and harm. Therefore, it will not appear or come as a surprise if your child felt afraid of how the bullies treated him inside the school campus or in other public places. Something inside your child wanted to fight back, but he could not do it because of fear and violence. Asking him why he chose not to can remind him of his weakness.

 

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“You Must Act Strong At All Times.”

 

This line is another way of showing to your child that he is a weakling. The best thing that you can do for your kid is to show him that he is a tough individual. Let him know that you find him amazing and fantastic at all times. Remind him of the fact that he can be strong in such a way that you will not sound imposing. Otherwise, your child will never recover from what happened to him. He will lose his confidence if you continue to insist on this matter.

 

“Say Sorry To The Bullies”

 

While your intention of making amends between your child and the bullies is admirable, do not forget that your child is the victim in the situation. He is not the one who is supposed to say sorry to the bullies. It is the other way around because the latter has caused damage and harm to your child. They are the ones responsible for the emotional or physical pain that your kid has suffered for days or even months. Because of this, it is only right and just for them to apologize. Forcing your child to do otherwise will only make the situation worse.

 

The most important thing that you have to do is to let your child know that you have his back at all times. Show him that you love him for who he is. Never become one of the bullies in your child’s life.

 

2016 New York Anti-Bullying Seminar: Dignity For All Students Act

Since the release of the Dignity for All Students Act last 2012, the 2016 New York Anti-Bullying Seminar becomes interested in its upgrade. The importance of the law characterized by a concept of tolerance, dignity, and respect for others become the primary center of the discussion. Within the scope of the seminar, the awareness and sensitivity in relations to the victim and the bully’s condition appear to be the emphasis.

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Widen Scope

The section 2801 amendment targets and includes sexual orientation where the specification of sexes and gender identity becomes equally valued on the list of possible causes of intense bullying. Aside from common ones such as race, ethnicity, and physical appearance, religion, and religious practice also become part of the extensive section of the most viewed cause of harassment. Altogether, the possible outcome of the unwanted bullying reaches its far-known integration of the mental health condition not only on the victim’s part but also on the bully as well. This particular scenario raised a whole new level of attention to all concern people and organizations. That’s perhaps the reason why the amendment rushes to its significant changes.

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The School’s Role

The Dignity Act amendment tends to represent the school’s policy and responsibility. They are held liable for gathering and reporting data regarding alleged incidents and cases of harassment, discrimination, and bullying. It becomes the sole obligation of the school to control and reduce the risk of having an unfriendly environment and provide children the opposite of the latter. The school must present training to school employees as well so they can master proper handling of such behavioral instances.

Bullying is never acceptable. A lot of things appears to be affected by it and sometimes causes severe damage to people’s mental and emotional aspect.  The act is one way to defy bullying.

The Mental Degradation Effect Of Bullying

We know that the deliverables of bullying are through physical injury. However, that doesn’t exclude the mental harm associated with the act. It causes emotional stress that in some cases, results in death. The victims are at risk of getting anxiety and depression, as well as psychosomatic issues such as belly pains, muscle aches, and headaches.

The mental effects of bullying hinder or stop the person from functioning. But not all side effects lean toward the victim alone. The abuser can suffer from overall severe health problems too. In most cases, the abuser experiences struggle in school, turns to substance abuse and engages in violent behavior as adults. Therefore, these psychological conditions from bullying are not limited to the victims but also to the bullies as well.

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The Different Sides Of Bullying

The danger of bullying sometimes makes people dependent on their perception of reality. They see the world as something violent and evil. The worst part about it is that those who suffer from the act don’t tell anyone about their situation. And the ones who commit the act begin to enjoy doing it for no apparent reason. Both of them watch themselves get hurt, suffer, and feel pain.  Though they process a different experience of bullying, both of them are responsible for their well-being. Victims and bullies shut their doors and create another world where they can become someone they are not. One gets to feel the psychological pressure through physical and emotional discomfort. The other one suffers from physical and emotional distress due to mental illness.

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The Thoughts About Bullying

Some people might think that bullying is not a big deal. Some of them may consider it as something that kids frequently undergo. But is it? When it comes to any kinds of physical and emotional damage, the mental health begins to break itself. Not because it wants to get rid of the pain, but rather to distribute it inside its system. Therefore, as the condition begins to affect a person’s overall balance, it slowly rips everything inside his mental health little by little.

Bullying is strong, and people already have that topic in their heads. They already think about it over and over again. In some unfortunate events, it becomes the foundation of their lives. It destroys everything that people want, it ruins their every little desire and damages their strong relationships as well. Every word and unnecessary actions can make someone feel dead inside. It was awful and horrible.

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Victims of bullying often feel alone and hopeless. They see themselves as worthless individuals that are no good for anything. They get stuck in the idea that they are never going to be enough for someone. But believe it or not, those specifications are what the bullies also feel. Due to their uncontrolled emotional struggles, they use bullying as an escape to the things they can’t handle. They, themselves, can’t control the stigma of being left alone and unwanted. Bullies are sad individuals that long for someone to save them from despair.

How Can Parents Handle Grief And Bullying? 

All parents play an important or significant role in improving the lives of their children. The guidance of mothers and fathers are essential in upbringing responsible and respectful young individuals. As a parent yourself, you need to become more aware of what you have to accomplish for the welfare of your kids. Aside from this, there is also a necessity on your part to reach out to your children so that you will have an idea of what is going on in their lives when you are not around. 

 

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The Best Therapy You Can Use While In Grief

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It is normal for you to feel lonely and empty due to the painful experience of losing someone you love. Even if the heartache often makes you weak and vulnerable to emotional roller coaster, it gives you a sense of realization that life has no consistency.  So to prevent future problems concerning your deep emotional distress, it is advised that you try to consider a professional’s help (especially if you think that your mourning has taken you to the point that you cannot almost identify the realm of reality). 

In the essence of grieving, there are possible therapies that you can indeed use to deal with your emotional stressors. It will help you identify the grief-related issues that you need to address so you can normally function in daily activities. The methods in managing a treatment course are necessary so you can find the right way to properly grieve your loss while not allowing mental illness to take over.

Writing Therapy – It is a useful form of therapy that allows your brain to internalize ideas. It will help you slowly get over the traumatic experience while letting your emotions out. You can cry and feel sad about your loss. It is an adequate coping mechanism because you can thoroughly be open about yourself.

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Psychotherapy – The process of deep mental rejuvenation is what psychotherapy focuses. It gives you the advantage to know the kind of mental health condition you may be having and lets you work on it through psychological discussion. It aids your emotional stress as well as your mental behavior that affects your capability to cope up with your loss. It somehow resolves problems such as anxiety, depression, aggression, and sleep disorder.

Art Therapy – Using art as a form of expression is a better coping mechanism that can help you get through with the emotional dilemma you are having. It is an excellent way of encouraging yourself to focus on the positive things in life rather than allowing the distractions to harm your overall health drastically. It can also make you discover or enhance talents in composing songs, playing musical instruments, writing a poem, painting, and sculpturing.

Pet Therapy – Animal therapy is well-known to children. However, it is now widely accepted and used as a coping mechanism that guides individuals to process nurturing affection transferred in their pet. It allows unbiased support that gives a person a chance to divert their sad emotions to happy thoughts and create another relationship with beloved animals.

Support Groups – This type of therapy helps people in a lot of ways. It gives an individual a chance to understand other people’s points of view regarding death and losing a loved one. It will make them express themselves while learning new things and getting to know other people with the same experiences. They can honestly share stories and life lessons.

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Losing someone can sometimes cause a person to destroy himself by doing unhelpful coping mechanisms. That is the reason why most therapists suggest that an individual should look after his health. Though the mourning process can take a while, it is certain that the main goal is still to produce a productive life after the loss. Make yourself better by clicking here.

Psychiatrists’ Opinion on Bullying and Psychiatric Disorders

The effects of bullying are among the most fought issues by psychiatrists. These effects result in a long-lasting and adverse impact on the mind, which can lead to psychiatric concerns. Bullying is a problem that prevents children from living a healthy life. However, how much do we know about it? What do psychiatrists say regarding this matter? Is it possible to prevent it? How can parents help if their children are victims or perpetrators of bullying?

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What is bullying

Psychiatrists say that bullying is a progressing and undesirably aggressive behavior between individuals involving a struggle for dominance. The actions of bullying may include verbal, social, and physical assault. Verbal form implies the use of words for taunting, teasing, threats, and inappropriate sexual annotations while social bullying involves harming an individual’s reputation or relationships by humiliating, spreading rumors, and other actions that can exclude them from having social relations. On the other hand, physical bullying is an act that injures an individual’s body or possessions by the use of force such as punching, kicking, tripping or pinching.

Effects of Bullying


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Studies have concluded that both victim and the offender of bullying have rates significantly surpassing those who are not engaged in bullying. The victims have higher rates of acquiring mood disorders such as nervous breakdowns, depression, anxiety, and sleeping issues according to psychiatrists. On the other hand, offenders have higher rates of becoming rebellious with disruptive behavior. The research concludes that both the victim and offender have the highest risk of acquiring a psychiatric disorder – seven times greater in comparison to individuals with no bullying experiences. It is advisable for these individuals to ask the help of a psychiatrist to inhibit the elevation of mental and emotional damage.

How Parents Can Help

Parents should always be on guard with the possibility of their child being a victim or a perpetrator. They should not be too unconcerned if their child shows signs of distress. Psychiatrists mention that it may be a sign of bullying.

 

  • Pay attention – It is of utmost importance to listen to your children if they disclose anything about them being a victim of bullying. If you fail to attend to their concern, it would be challenging for them to talk about it to anybody. Many victims would choose to suffer in silence because they feel embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid.
  • Tell them not to hurt others unjustly – It is heavily advised if your child is the bully. Parents need to make their children understand how important it is not to suppress and harm others unless it is self-defense.
  • Don’t criticize your child – Encourage them and tell your children that they did the right thing. Try to emphasize that being bullied is not their fault.
  • Don’t be passive – Convince your child that you and those with authorization can make bullying stop. Reach for the anti-bullying program in their school if they have one.

 

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Bullying is a societal issue and not an individual problem. You as a parent should make your children understand this truth. It is the first step in fighting and addressing the troubles of bullying.

 

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Useful Tips to Follow If You Want To Become The Bigger Person

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Zero Tolerance For Bullies

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It is essential for schools to have a clear map on how to discipline bullies. This plan includes strategies on how to prevent bullying at school. By doing this, it will help the school be more successful in implementing anti-bullying programs.

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