A Relationship With A Bully (The Effects You May Experience) 

A relationship is something that requires your full commitment. You have to consider a lot of things and make use of the factors that make you develop your well-being. But what if you have the kind of relationship that makes you feel anxious and depressed in a lot of ways? Then perhaps it’s time that you consider the signs that you need to get out of that kind of connection.  

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The result of bullying is something that you should never ignore. Even if you are in a relationship, you still have the right to sustain your emotional and psychological health. No one is given the power to make you feel worthless and helpless.  

The continued act of bullying in a relationship can make you feel weak because you regularly receive criticism that doesn’t help in your developmental growth. You may feel defeated and powerless because you are not allowed to express yourself. You are being held hostage in both mental and emotional aspects. You are being manipulated and used.  Kate Roberts, PhD, tells us that, “many victims of spousal bullying have a history of being victimized long before they get married, which can make them more vulnerable to marrying a bully.”


“Bullying is an attempt to instill fear and self-loathing. Being the repetitive target of bullying damages your ability to view yourself as a desirable, capable and effective individual,” Mark Dombeck, PhD, explains.

The act of targeting your emotional weakness can result in an overly damaged perception of yourself. You lose your confidence and start to address your decision based on fear and validation from your partner. You drastically change into someone that you are not supposed to be. You then live in fear and doubt your capabilities in handling situations, especially in your relationship. You feel unloved and unwanted. 


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Andre Sourander, MD, PhD, reported that “exposure to bullying, even in the absence of childhood psychiatric symptoms, is associated with severe adulthood psychiatric outcomes that require treatment in specialized services.”

Inevitably, when your partner targets your psychological aspect, you eventually lose your personality up to the point that you can’t even recognize yourself. You will never see things positively again, and you will continue to picture out that everything you do will never be enough. Then you’ll come to the point that you see the abuse as a normal routine in the relationship. You become more dependent on what your partner tells you to do, and you believe in everything he says about you. You’ll have problems identifying what’s useful and what’s not when it comes to addressing romantic issues. 


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The prolonged bullying of your partner would not only result in diminished emotional and psychological health, but even your behavior is also a target. Sometimes, you result in addiction and use it as an escape to the psychological pressure you are experiencing. You became potentially unaware that you are developing anxiety and depression. Your mood constantly changes, and you don’t seem to understand it either.  

Though you have an idea that your partner is somehow addicted to conflict, you become more vigilant. You always put yourself in a defense mode to avoid incoming arguments.  Sometimes, you become paranoid about small things that don’t matter and stress over them. You experience panic attacks. 

An abusive relationship will never help in your overall improvement. In worst cases, it sometimes only makes you hurt yourself. So before you severely damage your personality, you have to identify an abusive relationship as much as possible. You have to consider getting rid of a bully partner in your life and keep them away from you at all costs. 

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