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The Need For Counseling Over A Stressful Job

During this pandemic, the most important thing that almost everyone wants and others do not want to lose is their jobs. That is because, in uncertain times like this, everything can become complicated. People deal with constant financial burdens due to the global health crisis, and no one can do anything about the cutbacks. A lot of industries are pausing or lowering their production, and more companies are shutting down. Unemployment is everywhere, and people are struggling to get a decent occupation.

Understandably, the whole world is dealing with a lack of opportunity due to the health crisis. That explains why sometimes, even the ones that don’t pay enough get highly in demand. Perhaps that is because the rate is not an important factor in this situation, but getting a job is. Having food on the table to feed the family is the main priority of all individuals. But what if that job is taking a toll on people’s lives? What if that particular job is causing a lot of emotional, physical, and mental trouble?

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If It Is Too Stressful, Should You Leave?

Many people would say that when the job is becoming too stressful, one should quit it. There are warning signs that indicate when it is time to leave and let go of the damaging routine. But many would agree today that statement only applies to the years where the world is still okay. Now that there is a pandemic and jobs are almost nowhere to find, people no longer see it that way. Meaning, despite the job being toxic and having less than minimum rate, it is considered a life-changing opportunity, especially for those who can’t afford to put food on the table.

But on a lighter note, given that people can still have many options, they can do things if their job literally makes them sick. When the situation gets unbearable, unlivable, and unhealthy, people need to consider making significant life-work decisions.

Express Disappointment In A Professional Way

If the job or workplace condition is somewhat toxic and takes a toll on the daily function of individuals affecting the production, then it is time to let the managers know about the issue. It is best to discuss problems concerning the job to avoid overreacting to small things about it. That way, both employees and managers or bosses can work on alternatives. But people should be mindful that expressing thoughts and feelings does not guarantee them a solid agreement. Sometimes, other people are hard to deal with, and not all excuses or reasoning are convincing and acceptable. Thus, whatever happens, the decisions should be respected at all costs.

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Remember That It Is Not All About You

Most bosses and superiors would not care if people feel like their job is getting stressful. That is because these individuals also experience the same feelings the employees have put in a different situation. If people feel like their job is unfair, it is not just them who feel that way. Business owners are dealing with unbearable financial losses due to the pandemic crisis. But the fact that they want to continue the business without an assurance of revenue is a huge risk. Their task is now tripled for managers and supervisors due to the necessary cost-cutting that companies do to save the business. The less they require human resources, the more tasks it needs to be given to a limited number of people.

Think About Things That Matter

The pandemic has caused many problems worldwide, and the most affected ones are normal citizens who lost their source of income. But that is not enough reason to blame the economy as they also struggle in keeping the business running. They cannot provide everything for the people, and they also need help. Thus, if the job description requires too much task, people should think about the consequences of accepting the offer. Understandably, they would grab onto it because there are not many vacancies left, and people are dying to get an occupation. But if both sides are not meeting halfway, either one needs to look for another job, and the other declines the application.

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Take Care Of The Overall Health

No one should put their physical, mental, and emotional health on the line only to collect a limited amount of paycheck. People should consider taking care of themselves if they genuinely have to. No job can save them when things go down. So as much as possible, all individuals should focus on healthy routines. It would be impossible to accomplish, considering the global situation, but right now, flexibility and adaptability are highly important. People need to focus on surviving this pandemic more than ever so they can enjoy life once this whole health crisis is over.

 

Health And Counseling: The Truth About Anger

We know it is normal to get angry and upset because sometimes stressors are difficult to bear. We have those moments where we find the world a little uncooperative, and that makes us feel uncomfortable. At times, we endure those pushes that leave us off the edge. There is just too much pressure, and we start to lose our minds. At some point, we validate our rage and believe that it fits at the moment. Thus, we impulsively act out and tend to become very irrational. We would let anger take over our ability to think clearly and create better decisions. It shuts down our sense of consideration towards things like tolerance and compassion.

But the danger of giving in to anger doesn’t stop there. Frequent times, when we get upset, we couldn’t handle it. It is as if we know we have to let all the raging emotions out. Because if we don’t, we know it can cause a lot of trouble than usual. That could lead us to a deep end where nothing will seem okay. We become preoccupied with anger that we didn’t notice it ruining our lives.

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Angry Than Hurt

Most of us can instantly tell the exact reason for our upset feelings. Usually, we get angry because of petty things like not getting what we want, people breaking their promises, hearing negative things about us, small disturbances, etc. The angry feelings we believe caused by unfortunate situations are sometimes not all that there is. In unfortunate conditions, our anger represents our deep sadness and emptiness that we cannot simply express. It is as if we only rely on anger so that we can hide our fears and pain. Let alone deal with it silently.

Over-Blown Sense Of Importance

The funny thing about anger is that usually, it gets a little over the edge, especially when we desire immediate validation. That is even if we are not entirely angry at the situation or there is no reason to be upset at all. Anger has this huge attachment to the statement “I believe I am right” that we hold on to for quite too long. We are somehow focused on one-way thinking that we deserve to be angry because things are not going our way.

Fear-Induced Reaction

While most of us understand that anger is quite a normal reaction to something upsetting, some use it to take advantage of the situation. People with a complicated mindset often feel the need to be angry because it brings them closer to achieving what they want. Regardless of the motive, an angry reaction often leads the other individuals to raise their flags. Anger somehow connotes a fear-induced reaction that supports aggressive behavior towards others.

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Unrealistic Perfection

Usually, when we get angry, one reason is that our expectations did not go our way. We have this specific preference for things that, when it turns out negatively, become overly frustrated. It somehow makes us drawn to perfection that we know is impossible to get. And since we do not lower our standards, our disappointments go up. So when we fail, we become out of control and infuriate. That is the problem because anger holds into our deepest desire for perfection, and eventually, it will start controlling us.

An Unknown Trap

Though it is often common, anger is quite unnecessary to many things. We somehow think that it is significantly important to release the unwanted rage we have. Thus, we yell and shout at others when things are getting out of hand. Somehow, we got by and thought that it is okay since people are used to the aggressive response. Unfortunately, some of us get caught up with anger and give in to its negative impact. That explains why we spit out unnecessary words, humiliating statements, and poor judgment towards others. Anger traps us into a situation where we talk insensitively and act stupidly, and these are things that often make our apologies unacceptable.

It Ends Things

An angry emotion is known by many but understood by few. Some of us can let things go and forget about an angry person’s stupid and insensitive actions. However, some cannot accept it. These individuals take the angry behavior seriously, so they choose to back off and stay away for good. Anger breaks a relationship and even ends it forever. It sets up a barrier and limits both sides to look into reconciliation perspective. Once anger taps into the emotional imbalance, everything becomes a notable source of disconnection.

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Final Thoughts

Learning to control our angry emotions, letting go of things we can’t handle, accepting the truth, and moving on are things that are sometimes incredibly difficult to do. However, if we put our mind and heart into bringing inner peace, we might stop the rage at some point.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About What Depression Looks Like

I bet you know what depression means. Generally, it is related to the unexplained negative thoughts and feelings that affect someone’s behavior. Depression represents sadness and loneliness. It relates to a non-stop emotional turmoil that leads to too much grief. People view depression as a crippling mental health condition that stays for longer periods.

In some cases, it creates intense pressure on an individual’s overall development that affects his goal, self-awareness, and social relationship with others. Yes, these are, in fact, true. Depression is entirely related to isolation, self-doubt, poor concentration, self-neglect, anger, anxiety, and emotional imbalance.

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However, the condition is not limited to vulnerable individuals as it can also affect even those with an outgoing personality. The minority of people dealing with mental health problems also includes those individuals that are extroverts, cheerful and funny, goal-oriented, motivated, and socially active. Thus, it makes the whole situation quite impossible to determine. Sometimes, those who laugh and smile the most are actually the ones who are dealing with severe depressive episodes.

Therefore, depression affects all individuals regardless of their emotional and mental strength. There is no way you can determine the condition just by sticking with the negative signs. There are cases that even if someone tends to be happy all the time, there is no guarantee that what the individual physically shows entirely represents their emotional and mental health state.

If you’re still confused, here are some of the few frequently asked questions that might help you further understand depression from a different perspective.

What is the number 1 cause of depression?

Depression can come from many factors, including faulty mood regulation, the stress in life, financial strain, death or loss of someone you love, medication, chronic illnesses, genetic vulnerability, drugs, and alcohol abuse. In teen depression, factors may also vary. Some of the causes of their mental health problems negatively impact self-esteem, such as academic problems, peer problems, obesity, and long-term bullying. Also, situations like being a victim or witness of violence, such as physical or sexual abuse, contribute greatly.

 What happens with the brain during a depression?

Depression triggers the entrance of cortisol, which damages the amygdala, hippocampus, and dorsomedial thalamus. But with the three, the amygdala often receives a lot of damage since it is responsible for emotional responses. Depression causes the amygdala to enlarge and makes it more active. When this particular enlargement and activeness continue to happen, it causes hormonal imbalance, sleep disturbances, and activity level changes.

What color is associated with depression?

The color associated with depression is the shade of gray. This almost dark hue of black most likely represents an individual’s blank and cloudy mental state. Though the color grey also represents neutrality and balance, it still depicts an emotionless, dull, and empty state of mind. But in general, mental health awareness is represented by a green-colored ribbon. The green was the color used to label individuals who were considered psychologically unstable or insane, especially in the 1800s.

 What type of thinking is often linked to depression?

Negative thinking is often associated with depression. Perhaps that is due to the closed-minded mentality that often leaves no space for positive resolution and intervention. When bad things happen, people begin punishing themselves with thoughts such as I am a total failure, I am no good, or nothing ever goes my way, not knowing that these words can lead to feelings of despair and emptiness that lasts for a long period.

 What age group has the highest rate of depression?

The age group with the most significant rate of depression is individuals aged 18-25. The major depressive episode was reported higher among adult females at 8.7% than males at around 5.3%. These individuals, respectively, reported experiencing two or more symptoms of the mental illness.

 Is it possible to diagnose yourself with depression?

In some instances, a self-test can help you decide what to do whenever you are feeling blue. However, it doesn’t entirely mean that you can clinically conclude your condition based on what you have read, answered, watched, or searched on the internet. Only a mental health expert and professional can diagnose your condition based on the provided symptoms you experience. They are the only ones allowed to treat and prescribe you medication.

 What is the most reliable symptom of depression?

The most reliable symptoms of clinical depression often include uncontrolled feelings of sadness, emptiness, tearfulness, and hopelessness. Usually, you often experience angry outbursts, irritability, and frustration, even over small things. There is also the loss of interest or pleasure in most activities you usually like. With all these symptoms, it is important to understand that every individual suffers from depression differently. Thus, some of the signs might not apply to those who manage their mental health issue well.

 What are the risk factors of depression?

Some of the risk factors linked to depression include genetics. When a family member used to have depression, it is more likely that you will also have it. Also, death or loss of someone you love, conflict, medication, drug and alcohol abuse, and financial strain increases the mental health condition’s risk. Other risk factors like physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse can also trigger and increase the severity of depression.

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 Can your mind create symptoms?

Yes. Your mind can manifest physical symptoms and can make it worse too. That is called psychosomatic. Though many individuals believe that psychosomatic symptoms are unreliable, these are considered real and can have a psychological cause.

 What are the nine types of depression?

The most common types of depression are manic depression or bipolar disorder, persistent depression, Depressive psychosis, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, seasonal depression, situational depression, perinatal depression, and major depression.

 What are the five signs of mental illness?

The five notable indications of mental illness are excessive paranoia, worry, or anxiety. There is also irritability, long-lasting sadness, extreme moods, eating or sleeping patterns changes, and social withdrawal. In some instances, people experience significant tiredness, low energy, or problems sleeping.

 How can I test my mental health?

The first step to test your mental health is to recognize the signs and symptoms. If there is a change in the pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behavior, visit a doctor or mental health professional. You can also consider online screening. It is also considered the most convenient way to learn whether you are enduring the indications of a psychological issue such as anxiety and depression.

 Why is Googling symptoms a bad idea?

Googling your mental health symptoms can sometimes help. However, self-diagnosing your symptoms using tons of information from the internet can mask a potentially dangerous disease. Because in addition to incorrect diagnoses, there are instances that some of the recommendations can make your symptoms worse. It is best to consult professional medical experts if you think you might be having a health issue.

 How can you tell if someone is mentally ill?

Each illness has its symptoms, and individuals experience them differently. But common symptoms of mental illness in adolescents and adults can be general. These include excessive worrying or fear, confused thinking, feeling excessively sad or low, or problems learning and analyzing.

 How do I get better mentally?

You can always feel better when you talk about and deal with your problems. If you can’t, you can always ask for help. Never allow yourself to feel alone. Get in touch with people, take a break from stress, and care for yourself. Remember that some of these tips might work well with others and not with you. With that, you have to find a way to broaden your wellness option and learn coping skills applicable to your physical, mental, and emotional ability.

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Takeaway

Depression is a serious condition that you should address immediately. Of course, there are chances that the signs and symptoms may come extremely indistinguishable. But one should not stop taking care of his or her mental state. It would be the best option to learn more about the sudden emotional and mental changes.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Attribution Psychology

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Many times, people had told me that I was perhaps one of the most nonjudgmental individuals on the planet. My friends could share embarrassing stories with me, and I often tried to put myself in their shoes to understand their logic instead of berating them for their mistakes. My relatives could admit the awful things they had done in life, and I would hug them and thank them for trusting me with their secrets. At some point, people began to think that nothing could faze me.

In reality, those people were almost correct. I had to emphasize “almost” because I got a single pet peeve: hearing others blame their problems on everything or everyone except for themselves.

Scenario #1

Mary was the last person to leave the house. Her husband, John, was already in the car, waiting for her.

“Did you unplug everything?” John asked.

“Yes, dear,” she said.

“Did you turn off the stove? I saw that the meat you were slow-cooking was still there.”

“Yes, I did that, too,” Mary replied.

The entire day passed, with the couple getting busy at their respective offices. John picked her wife up from work around five o’clock, and they even talked about the lovely dinner they would have. However, they had the shock of their lives when they opened the backdoor leading to the kitchen and realized that the fire sprinklers were on. Water covered their wooden floor and flowed towards their pristine living room. When they investigated the place, they deduced that the stove was still on when they left, judging by how the pot and the meat were almost charred on top of it.

John wheeled around to face Mary. “You said you turned it off!” he exclaimed.

Instead of feeling sorry, Mary crossed her arms over her chest. “I believed I did, okay? It’s your fault because you did not double-check it before we left. You just went straight to the car instead of helping me lock the house.”

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Scenario #2

Dale was helping his mother, Mary, choose the tiles for their new family home.

“Mom, let’s go with this white marble granite. It’s a bit pricey, but it will not crack as easily as ceramic or porcelain tiles,” he said.

Jolene shook her head vigorously. “No, son, I want to stick with my budget. It will be fine as long as I mop it carefully.”

“I can pay for the excess amount, Mom. I—” 

“There’s no need for that,” Jolene uttered, cutting him off. “We will get ceramic tiles. That’s final.”

Not wanting to extend the argument, Dale conceded, even though he knew he was right. True enough, his mother called him a couple of months after moving into the family home, complaining about a broken tile.

“I don’t know how it happened. I just walked towards the dining table one morning, and then I saw the crack under one of the chairs. It was thin but still visible,” Jolene explained over the phone.

“Mom, this was what I tried to tell you months ago. If you just agreed to get the granite tiles, you would not have this problem,” Dale said.

“You know these things better than I do. You should have insisted on the granite instead of letting me choose ceramics. Now, you need to fix this.”

Thoughts

Can you see how infuriating both scenarios are? That’s especially infuriating for me, considering the examples above were real-life anecdotes. In other words, they genuinely happened in my family! You would need a godly level of patience to deal with such incidents.

Why Do People Act Like That?

Blaming others for someone’s own behavior is a fine example of negative attribution. This is a psychological idea that explains how people react when they find themselves in a specific situation.

The thing is, not all attributions are negative. For instance, if someone receives an award, they can say that it’s all because of their hard work and the encouragement of the people around them. When a couple ties the knot, they may thank everyone who has helped them realize that they are perfect for each other.  

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What is the attribution theory in psychology? 

 Attribution theory in psychology refers to a person’s ability to explain what may have caused a situation based on whatever information they have. Meaning, they put the puzzle pieces together to create a causal judgment.

What is an example of attribution bias? 

 One example of attribution bias is an individual’s reaction when they experience failure or success. If they manage to achieve their goals, they tend to say that it is a product of their hard work and sacrifices. If they fail, they start pointing fingers and blaming others, considering that will prevent people from concluding that they are weak.

Why is attribution necessary to psychology? 

 Attribution matters to psychology because even mental health professionals utilize this theory to determine why their patients behave a certain way. Since most – if not all – factors that caused mental distress to an individual took place in the past, they couldn’t do anything but create causal reasoning based on the patients’ stories.

What is attribution, and why is it important? 

 Attribution is the act of combining various details about a situation to assess what caused it. It is essential because we cannot witness everything globally, even when our loved ones are involved. Since you can do attribution, you can judge the situation according to someone’s information.

What is another word for attribution? 

 Assignment.

What is personal attribution? 

 Personal (or dispositional) attribution pertains to the act of linking an individual’s trait, thinking pattern, effort, and abilities to their actions. For example, a man gets accused of starting a fight with another driver on the road. Later, it has been revealed that the former has depression. Onlookers may then say that they have acted that way due to their mental disorder.

What is the best definition of attributes? 

 An attribute refers to characteristics that may describe an individual.

What factors affect our attributions? 

  • Consensus: It focuses on the general reaction towards an action.
  • Consistency: It refers to the individual’s typical behavior towards the other entity.
  • Distinctiveness: It shows how a person reacts during specific situations.
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Why is attribution so important? 

 Attribution is vital because it helps people connect the dots and determine why someone acts a certain way. It is easier to jump to conclusions than check for attributes, but the latter will allow you to develop a logic-based judgment.

What is the difference between attribution and citation?

 Attribution is the act of mentioning who holds the copyrights to a specific work. For instance, if you add a photograph to your presentation, you need to say who took it. If you use a song, you must say who sang and produced it.

On the other hand, citation refers to the scholarly manner of mentioning where you got an idea. For instance, if you are talking about a concept you have found from a website, you need to write the author’s name, year of publication, title, and source.

Final Thoughts

I have had to make peace because I cannot stop everyone – not even my loved ones – from doing negative attribution. Despite this, I always try to counter it with a positive one to cancel its adverse effect on other people or me.

 

Confronting Mental Health Problems To Stop Bullying Others

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I am a bully.

I used to be hell-bent on denying that for as long as I could remember. Many people used the word “bully” to describe me, but I never identified as such. All I knew was that I was having the best time of my life and that there was nothing wrong with it.

The only wake-up call I had was when I saw a group of seniors bullying my sister to give them her lunch money when I was in high school. From the other side of the hallway, I could already see them surrounding a small student backed up on the lockers. No one knew that she was my sister at the time because, hello, it was only the first day of school, and we didn’t walk around together all the time. But as I got closer, I could overhear their conversation.

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Source: pxfuel.com

Senior 1: Ooh, cool bag! How much dough did your momma give you today, Ms. Freshman?

Sister: Uhm, $10. Why do you care?

Senior 2 (grabbing her bag): That’s cool. Let’s see how crisp a ten-dollar bill is now. (He proceeded to rummage through the bag.)

When I showed up, my sister ran straight to me and hid behind me, while the bullies dropped her bag. One managed to ask, “Do you know this girl?” 

With my head held up, I said, “Yes, she’s my sister. Have you got a problem with her?”

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Source: pxfuel.com

No one tried to bully my little sister again after that. However, that incident showed me that I was also a bully like those other kids. I would never try to steal someone’s money or harass them if they didn’t give it immediately, but I used to join in when my classmates passed around some student’s backpack or turned them into laughingstocks. Heck, I even high-fived the boys who flipped the girls’ skirts in the hallways.

I had been wrong, and I know it now. 

Hitting Rock-Bottom (Intentionally)

I was honestly ashamed to admit to my family that I was a bully, even though I wanted to do everything to rectify my mistakes. It’s just that my parents had always been kind and law-abiding citizens their entire lives; I didn’t want them to feel like there’s something wrong with their parenting skills. Thus, in the beginning, I kept the news to myself.

I looked up the reasons behind bullying on the internet and found that peer pressure was on top of the list. That’s correct—I had seen it happen first-hand—but I didn’t think it applied much to me. In reality, some of my friends were blatantly telling me to stop messing with others, so they were obviously not pressuring me to bully anyone.

Some folks also said that it could be a way to make someone pay for whatever they did to the bully. Well, since I was among the biggest football players at school, I had never encountered a fellow student who poked fun at me. It was usually the other way around, so no, it wasn’t due to payback either.

Then, after some time, I came across two words: pleasure and popularity.

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Source: pxfuel.com

As mentioned above, I was on the football team. The taller and bulkier a player was, the higher their popularity level was. And I wasn’t exempted from that. Almost every day, I would open my locker and see love letters and proposals from girls who wanted to be my girlfriend. Besides that, some guys looked up to me, and I wanted to show how cool I was by—pardon my French—helping them bully others.  

I guess I liked the attention a little too much, to the extent that I didn’t see how my actions started having adverse effects on others’ lives.

Seeking Mental Help

When I realized what was probably wrong with me, I asked my parents if they could take me to a mental health professional. Although I had an idea of curbing my bullying tendencies, I felt the need to consult a psychologist before I faced anyone at school again. In the process, I also had to tell my parents about my awful behavior. They were disappointed with me, but they were willing to give me another chance because they saw how much I wanted to turn my life around.

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Source: pxfuel.com

The psychologist said that I should apologize to every person that I bullied. There were a few of them, so I spent an entire month tracking them down and finding a way to make them accept my apology. After that, the mental health expert recommended that I attend group counseling with fellow reforming teenage bullies. I did not know how it would benefit me initially, but I was glad to sign up for it without asking too many questions because I ended up loving it. 

Five years later, I am already taking a Master’s degree in Child Psychology. Bullying is nothing but a part of my history. When I finish all the necessary training, I want to help troubled teenagers (like I have once been) get their lives back on track.

Dealing With The Family Bully

 

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As opposed to what most of us think, bullying is not something that can suddenly go away, like a rash, an exam, or a problem solved. As a matter of fact, it persists throughout the adult years and is evident in almost all aspects and situations. Apart from the popularized topics of online bullying, sibling bullying, and school bullying, the infamous act of bullying is also evident within families and even among adults. And most often, family bullying occurs merely due to the bully having never learned how to connect with the rest healthily. Also, it sometimes happens because the bully member of the family wants to control and handle different kinds of situations. If, like me, someone in the family is a bully, here are several strategies that you can try to keep matters under control.

Always confide in someone you can trust.

If and when you need to spill the beans on what happened to you, do it with someone that you feel close with, someone you have been confiding your innermost feelings with for quite some time. It can be your sister, brother, or close friend. The key is to keep away from the useless chatter. Find someone supportive of you and genuinely cares about you. Some individuals go straight to their family members rather than their friend, but be cautious when you do so. As most, if not all of us, may have experienced, family members might have the urge to resolve the issue and end up worsening it immediately.

What’s important is that you confide in someone who can be trusted not to say anything when they don’t need to in the first place. He or she needs to be someone who will not make things even more difficult for you. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should keep mum about it when you are bullied, but confiding about it to one person can tremendously help in making you feel less alone and anxious. Ultimately, having someone who can listen to whatever you might say and keeping you levelheaded in the process is undoubtedly one of the best things that you need. So choose the right person to trust in.

 

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Don’t get too emotional.

When you are trying to deal with bullying in the family, stay composed and don’t show frustration or rage. If you can’t control the bully, you can indeed control your actions. Keep your calm, and do not in any way, interact with the bully. On the contrary, do some journaling about the events that have happened so far, remembering to include vital information, such as dates and places. This will help you find any behavioral patterns.

Set Limitations.

When we’re talking about a family bully, it is crucial that we set clear limitations between the two of you. For example, if your partner’s brother never stops insulting what you do or say to the point of embarrassment, tell her straight out that you don’t like what he’s doing and that you would like for it to stop. If he keeps doing it, then you always have the option not to invite him over your place even though the rest of the family is invited. You need to set rules and restrictions to keep respect. If this happens to you with other family members as well, you need to do the same – keep your contact with them to a minimum. You don’t need to tolerate their behaviors just because they’re family.

Decide for yourself.

When someone bullies you, you always have a choice, and you always have to make a decision. You can try to forget about it, allow the bully to continue disrespecting you, ignore the bully, or respond with an act of subtle but sweet revenge. Whatever you do, please do not give in to what he wants by reacting negatively at the expense of your self-respect and dignity. Be composed. Don’t behave the way he does. You have the last say about what you should do. Decide wisely.

Maintain or increase your confidence.

Bullies – whether in the family or not – know how to choose whom they can control and influence. Don’t let him know you’re anxious (if you are) and avoid showing defeat or insecurity. When you stand up for yourself and show strength and confidence, you are one step ahead of the person bullying you. Most importantly, be respectful and keep the bully from bullying, even your mind.

 

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Take a break from everything.

Living life with a bully in the family could be exhausting and daunting at the same time. Commit to giving yourself time to relax and take a break from all the thinking. Take a hike. Go beaching with your friends. Visit the spa. Or enjoy the silence in a place where you will feel peaceful and happy. Whatever you do, make sure that will help you take out a portion of negativity from you every time you have that break.

Ultimately, if bullying in the family harms your mental and emotional health, consider seeking professional help from someone who is experienced and qualified in tackling family issues.

 

 

Ways To Stop Bullying During This Pandemic

Bullying is a widespread problem, and it can take a toll on an individual’s self-confidence as well as physical and emotional aspects. In this time of the pandemic, a lot of people are suffering from bullying, especially those people that have a related Coronavirus issue. Since most individuals want to blame a specific race, the emotional, physical, and mental abuse heightens. So what do you do if ever you belong to the ones who are being bullied? Here are some ways that can help you protect yourself from harm, boost your self-confidence, and find help.

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Remember That Bullying Is Not Your Fault

Honestly, there are multitudes of reasons why bullies bully other people, and these have nothing to do with you. Most likely, it has a lot to do with their personal issues. Some bullies are emotionally and mentally struggling that they often find bullying an outlet to get rid of their suffering. So if you are being bullied, always remember that it is not your fault. Do not think of yourself as a loser based on your bullies’ description of you. You will only end up viewing an inaccurate portrait of who you are. If you want to fight the negative effect of your bullies torment, you need to work on appreciating the unique qualities that can make you stand out from the crowd.

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Surround Yourself With People Who Care About You

Bullies often target individuals who they know are vulnerable and alone. That is why you need to build an army and surround yourself with people that can protect and care for you. These individuals should accept you for who you are. When you are with the right set of friends, who are willing to stand up for you, bullies will have a hard time finding reasons to hurt you. It is essential that you feel safe and secured around people. It will help you maintain a better environment that can boost your self-esteem. So always remember to stick with your friends.

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Ignore The Bullies And Never Associate With Them

Ignoring bullies is one of the recommended things that you should follow. It is an anti-bully tactic that works best for a lot of situations. Understand that most of the time bullies bully you because they want to get reactions. They need to validate their capabilities because they know inside them; they are incapable of a lot of things. They rely on bullying because they want to cover or hide their weaknesses. They seek attention because they do not often receive the kind that builds their emotional and mental well-being. So next time you encounter bullies, ignore them. The second you feel overwhelmed and unsafe, find a way to remove yourself from the situation. Because if they don’t receive any response, they will eventually get bored and move on.

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Find Someone To Talk To And Speak Out

If you experience bullying, you need to speak out. Find the right persons to talk to if you feel unhappy, unsafe, and uncomfortable with the situation. Seek for someone who you can trust. These can be your close friends, a parent, a teacher, or a guidance counselor. You need to open up and tell them what is going on. You are not the only one coping and experiencing an unfortunate case of bullying, so you need to be brave enough to share your experience so others can know and do something about it. Always remember that there are people out there who are willing to help and support you. You need to extend an arm and reach out for their help and support.

How To Handle Know-It-Alls

I had trouble deciding whether I should attend the 2017 General Health Conference or not. Although all the topics the panelists were supposed to cover enticed me, I was not fond of some people who were to go to the same event. They were arrogant and insensitive, always acting like they were smarter or better than you. A bunch of Know-It-Alls, as people might say.

But then, a friend gave me food for thought: “You cannot fight fire with fire.” That’s how I decided to do the following:

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Keep Your Cool

The first thing you should do is to chill. I know how frustrating it must be to talk to a Mr. or Ms. Know-It-All or at least be near them. But you cannot lose your cool around such people because: 1) it won’t affect them at all, and 2) they are not worthy of any attention. 

Stop Trying To Prove Them Wrong

It is ridiculous how some people get upset whenever Know-It-All talks and then try to argue with them. It would be best if you never do that since it entails that you are stooping down to their level. Besides, they typically cannot accept the truth from others, so your efforts may be futile. 

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Avoid Them If You Can

The best advice that I can give you is to keep your distance from everyone who claims to know everything. If they try to engage you, excuse yourself politely or come up with a believable alibi. It is not that you are afraid of getting one-upped by them; you merely want to avoid stress and impending conflicts, especially if you are not in the mood for games.

Final Thoughts

All of us are acquainted with a certain Mr. or Ms. Know-It-All; no one is lucky enough not to meet at least one in this lifetime. If you are at wit’s end while thinking of how to handle them, remember everything mentioned above. Good luck!

Getting Rid Of Your Bullying Habits

“I am a bully.” That’s what I realized when I attended the 2019 Bullying Prevention Event some time ago.

I merely went to that conference to avoid needing to take my final exams for my Humanities subject. I did not expect to come to that realization. But when I accepted it, I looked for ways to get rid of my bullying habits.

Here’s what I gathered.

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Know All The Signs

From the get-go, you should learn about the different signs of bullying. Conduct online research or attend seminars as I have — do anything that will allow the information to sink in your brain. This way, you can no longer say that you don’t know that you are already bullying someone. 

Catch Yourself In The Act

A lot of former bullies can tell you that the urge to talk smack about someone will always be there. Though they may have pushed it at the back of their minds, it is still there. 

What often helps these people from reverting to their old ways is their self-awareness. They catch themselves as they are about to say something they cannot take back. No harm is done.

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Focus On Everyone’s Positive Sides

Everyone has a perception of what’s right or wrong. The only difference between bullies and non-bullies is that the former mainly focuses on the negative things they see. They do not give the center of their judgment the benefit of the doubt.

If you want to get rid of your bullying habits, you will need to look for the positive side of the folks around you. It is okay to be aware of their adverse side—that will keep you safe from awful people—but try to see them in a better light.

Final Thoughts

A year already passed since I realized that I was a bully to my friends, siblings, and even strangers. It wasn’t my best day, but I was grateful to know about it before I could hurt someone deeply. Now, I try to see the goodness in everyone daily and use positive words when I talk to others. My resolve is still not perfect, but I believe I’m getting there.

In case you have bullying habits, I hope you overcome them soon, too. Good luck!

How COVID-19 Contributes To Cyberbullying

With all the media information we receive, we are aware that the Coronavirus comes from a specific country. We understand the danger it gives us because of the unusual and first-ever strict global safety measures we have to follow. Admit it. We know the situation, but not all of us are considerate enough to make significant sacrifices and adjustments. Perhaps that is because not everybody is capable of making some life changes. So due to the complicated and exhausting effects of this threatening situation, we look for things, or rather persons, to blame.

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Since there is a global lockdown, people are spending most of their time on social media platforms. It is people’s way of entertaining themselves and getting sorts of information at the same time. But we can’t help but notice all the cyberbullying across all nations pin-pointing the whole phenomena to the Chinese community. We sometimes see comments and posts, such as “Chinese people are disgusting because they eat all types of animals.” Others point out that the spread of the virus won’t be a thing if Chinese people did not consider eating bats at their tables. Well, to be honest, there might be truth to this. However, the unacceptable part is the way how everybody is treating and generalizing the Chinese community.

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From Cyber Bullying To Racism

After the Coronavirus outbreak, more and more people are tuned into cyberbullying. All their hatreds and anger reflect their comments on a specific post on social media. There is no stopping their emotional agony because the situation is getting worse every day. But as the virus spread, cyberbullying opens a new door for another attack – racism. The virus outbreak becomes a curse to the Chinese community because they are now threatened, judged, hated, and discriminated. In some worst cases, they are physically, emotionally, and mentally harmed.

Sadly, there are instances that most of us will even disregard friendship due to the idea that we have to blame someone for this unfortunate situation. We get so immature to see that the hate-infect we do to others is more damaging and unpleasant than this health crisis. We think that what we are doing is appropriate because we have to get the validation that this pandemic requires the general Chinese community’s formal apology. We get too selfish not to think that these people are also suffering from a health crisis. And now, they also need to be afraid of being themselves because we keep on implying that everything we have to sacrifice is all due to their allegedly disgusting habits.

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Another heartbreaking truth is that no one of us is more than willing to defend them from others. We are not capable of saying “sorry” because we do not care about their feelings. We believe that bullying them on social media platforms is okay since we can’t personally tell it to their faces. We feel entitled to say whatever rude things we want to say to them because we have this ideology that they deserve it.

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The thing with how we see this pandemic is depressing. Most of us are incapable of understanding what others feel because we are too focused only on what we are experiencing. It is not every Chinese’s’ fault that we end up in this current situation. Nobody wants this to happen, and no one wishes for this to extend for more extended periods. Try to think about it. Let us allow ourselves to be more compassionate and understanding, despite this exhausting situation. Let’s stop cyberbullying and racism because, at this stage of the crisis, we all need each other.