Category Archives: Overcoming Bullying

Your Kid’s Psychological Behavior Is Your Fault (Pediatric Counseling Discussion)

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How well do you know your kid? Are you aware of his mental conditions? Do you think he’s perfectly stable emotionally and mentally? Can you understand his behavioral responses? Do you find yourself confident enough in providing everything for his overall development? Well, now that I asked, you might start to doubt yourself.

According to psychology, your kid’s mental state depends on your parenting behavior. As per pediatric counseling is concerned, the reasons for psychological issues are quite trivial. Your parenting mistakes merely cause your kid’s anxiety and low self-esteem. So what are those character traits that cause your child’s wrong behavior? BetterHelp made a list for you.

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  • Being A Helicopter Parent

“Helicopter parenting typically describes hyper-involved, extremely concerned parents who pay close attention to a child’s every move. They try to guide, coax, compel or even force children to do what they think is “best” for him/them,” Mike Brooks, Ph.D., explains.

This act of always watching and scrutinizing your child leads to psychological issues such as a lack of independence. It severely damages your child’s critical thinking due to a higher amount of reliance on you. It hinders him from making a significant decision for himself, and he thinks that the world is never safe without you in it. He won’t handle struggles in life because he believes that he can never do anything without your help.

  • Imposing A Feeling Of Guilt

When you encourage your child by enumerating the list of your sacrifices, you are not doing him a favor. Instead, you are imposing guilt that leads to constant pressure and stress. Your child might think that he’s not better and that everything he does will never be enough. The constant reminder of your effort will not motivate him, and he might end up in depression, stress, and failure instead.

  • Focusing On Strict Compliance

Understandably, you want to encourage your child to do his best in everything. However, too much pushing can lead to restlessness and exhaustion. Your kid needs to feel complete relaxation for him to be able to work productively. And by depriving him of the right to feel free and comfortable, you are slowly ripping his psychological advancement. You are also taking away an essential aspect of his life – childhood.

  • Questioning His Capabilities

One of the primary reasons a child experiences a mental condition is the constant doubt of his capabilities. The thought that a child can never work things alone leads to a slow process of development. As a result, he might grow into an adult who subconsciously finds himself unable to handle adverse situations.

  • Deciding For Your Kid

The essence of thinking that your child is still not mature enough to create decisions is bad parenting behavior. When you make firm arrangements for your kid because you think that he’s too young to understand what’s good and what’s bad for him, you’re not only depriving him of his right but also limiting his skills and capabilities to make necessary adjustments.

  • Lack Of Sensitivity

It is normal for a kid to express his emotions, so frequently stopping him from showing a weak side leads to an emotional shutdown. A child eventually learns to suppress his emotions, and that can turn into psychosomatic issues. He may have problems identifying different feelings and psychological responses.

“Talking about emotions helps children learn about their own and other people’s internal experiences. Wrapping big, messy emotions up in words makes them seem more understandable and therefore more manageable,” says clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.

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It’s perfectly okay to handle your kids your way. However, you need to take adequate accountability for your actions and be careful in making decisions for your child. Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D., further explains, “Parenting style has a big impact on how children develop into adults, and there are important implications for their future success.”

Evaluate yourself and think about how you can create an impact on your child’s development. Always remember that though parenting mistakes are common, there’s a higher price to pay for its results.

5 Principles Of Effective Couples Therapy – Seeking Help From A Psychiatrist

 

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If you and your loved one are experiencing relationship troubles, you may have considered couples therapy. However, with relatively low success rates and the stress of working out problems, many people feel overwhelmed and discouraged with the idea.

The problem usually lies in the fact that couples often only seek help when the troubles are already quite deep. “When partners have tried and tried to improve their relationship and nothing has worked, a heap of skepticism about whether couples therapy could possibly work makes sense,” wrote practicing psychologist and Harvard University lecturer Holly Parker, Ph.D. Despite this, however, she says that, “..it may ultimately surprise partners with how much it can make a difference.”

Also, the skills needed to be a couples’ therapist may be entirely different from those of individual therapy. Otherwise, treatment can produce positive and long-term effects. The key is to use different techniques which work for both parties, even with a bit of trial and error involved.

That being said, couples therapy has the following fundamental principles:

Changes The Views Of The Relationship

During the process, the goal is for each party to look at the relationship objectively, to avoid placing the blame on the other. The therapist or psychiatrist also employs techniques to help them see the union in a particular context. For example, for couples undergoing financial troubles, there are specific ways for each one to adapt until the money issues are resolved.

In this case, the therapist would suggest methods for effectively managing finances as a couple. By pointing out the problems, the couple can put aside their pride and learn to work as a team to solve the issues head-on.

Modifies Dysfunctional Behavior

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A therapist also needs to end behaviors which cause physical or emotional distress. If one partner is physically abusive, he must first be dealt with individually. One way to do this is to put him in a domestic violence shelter for a while. A similar method can be done for a partner suffering from substance abuse or alcoholism. Doing so not only helps the relationship, it keeps both partners healthy, safe, and in a much better position to solve the relationship issues. With issues such as these, “[a] good therapist will not judge you, but needs to know everything in order to help you,” clinical psychologist Barbara Markway, Ph.D., says.

Decreases Emotional Avoidance

Therapy would also enforce communication between partners who may have deeply buried and unexpressed feelings.

Blake Griffin Edwards, LMFT, wrote, “Couples who do not experience mutuality usually channel feelings of sadness, fear, or shame through self-protective or coercive behaviors that fail to achieve what is needed to move beyond them.” He added, “When such interactions evolve into patterns, couples often experience a loss of trust or a heightening of fear in their relationship, which buries the deeper emotions even further.”

Many couples lose intimacy over time because their everyday issues may have discouraged them from expressing themselves effectively and healthily. The idea is to prevent the couple from growing apart because of the emotional distance. This may be difficult because it requires the couple to break old habits, but is often a good stepping stone to resolving other relationship issues.

Improves Communication

That being said, therapy should be able to address all communication problems between partners. The basis of this is that communication is a must to achieve intimacy. Sometimes, physical and emotional abuse might be seen by one partner as the only way to express himself. By introducing more effective and less destructive methods, the couple can start being on the same page again. A therapist can achieve this through simple exercises and provide each one with an outlet to talk without interruption.

Promotes Strength

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Active couples’ therapy would be able to point out the positive qualities of each partner and how they contribute to the quality of the relationship. The idea is to let the couple reaffirm their reasons to keep the relationship going and to equip them for any future problems that they may encounter after the therapy has concluded.

For a relationship to work out, it takes both sides’ effort, time and perseverance. But despite all these, and the change will still not take place, then the best option is to get professional help. Here is a guide on how to choose your therapist or psychiatrist: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/reasons-to-choose-an-online-psychiatrist/.

Therapist: It Took Me Too Long  To Figure Out I Was Getting Bullied

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I was the least impressionable kid in my neighborhood when I was growing up. While many of the children oohed and aahed whenever they saw a pair of new kicks or a new gadget, I could look at it without obsessing over it and begging my mom to get me one. If someone went to school wearing trendy clothes or a cool bag, I would not even spare them a glance, even though the other kids would undoubtedly flock over them.

I used to think that that was me being normal, to be honest. My parents had always wanted to spoil me; I could get anything I wanted without begging them for it at all. However, I could not care less for technological devices or other worldly materials as mom and dad happened to teach me the need to reduce non-biodegradable waste on the planet.

Did the other kids think I was normal? I used to believe so, yes. I did not have enemies who called me out at the playground during recess to fight. Some of my classmates would listen to my stories about eco-friendliness and how we could save the Earth even if we were young. I would like to think that I had a fantastic childhood surrounded by friends and family.

Realizing The Truth

I held on to the belief that people liked me until I went to high school. Most of the students there belonged to my neighborhood, so I knew them well. But then, a girl named Sugar transferred to our school during my senior year.

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It was typical for kids who grew up together to exclude the newcomers from their group. Knowing that that’s how they would treat Sugar, I volunteered to give her a tour of the campus. I showed the new student around and even thought of introducing her to anyone I saw on the corridors.

When the tour was over, I was still in high spirits due to the prospect of having a new friend. However, I did not expect to hear what Sugar told me.

“I could not stand our schoolmates,” Sugar uttered. “Where I came from, the things I saw them do to you was known as indirect bullying. No one should experience that. How long have they been doing that to you?”

All I could do was stare back at Sugar with my mouth hanging open. “Did you say that I was getting bullied? Me? That cannot be right because everyone has been so nice to me,” I insisted.

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My new classmate shrugged. “You do not have to believe me if you do not want to, but all the signs are there. Perhaps you have never noticed it because that’s how those kids had been treating you ever since.”

Although I remained unwilling to accept Sugar’s observation, I decided to research indirect bullying on the internet. I could not fathom if I should be happy or sad about doing this, considering I realized that my new classmate was correct. I had been getting bullied, and it took me forever to figure it out.

How Did The Realization Affect Me?

It opened my eyes for real. It was gutting to think that the kids who I thought were friendly to me might have been snickering behind my back or calling me names. Did I even have friends at all? I had no clue.

Almost at the same time, I began to recall parts of my childhood when I experienced indirect bullying. For instance, there were times when the other kids would not share their lunch table with me, claiming that they were saving a seat for someone else. Other times, they would seem to pay attention to my lectures about Mother Earth, but then I just realized that they were doing it to make fun of me.

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The realizations made me want to cry, of course. It meant that I most likely did not have friends at all. I felt alone and said because of it.

How Did Things Get Better?

Sugar instantly became my new best friend. I liked that fact that she immediately noticed that I was getting bullied – a feat that I might never have known if she did not tell me. We became inseparable throughout high school.

Besides getting a new friend, my parents decided that I should go to therapy to learn how to understand other people’s actions. It was not a cakewalk – I wanted to give up one too many times. Still, my therapist was kind enough to encourage me to get on with the program.

Fast Forward To 2021

I had always wanted to become a surgeon, but I changed my mind at the last minute because of my experience with indirect bullying. Instead, I chose to become a psychiatrist and eventually an on-call school counselor so that I could help kids getting bullied, whether they knew about it or not.

 

Therapist Answers: Who Experiences Bullying At Work?

When was the first time that you heard the term “white privilege”?

I was oblivious of this term throughout my childhood. Since my parents raised me on a farm in Montana, I got homeschooled and did not see many people of other colors or races. Even our farmhands were part of the family, so I remained sheltered for years.

I only learned about white privilege once I started working at a company for the first time. I was waiting for a taxi in front of the company building along with other employees, not knowing that it was actually a queue, and I was on the far end of it. When a cab stopped in front of me, I just hopped into it. Unfortunately, I did not do it fast enough since I heard someone sigh behind me and say, “That’s a white privilege for you.”

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I looked back, hoping to see who they were talking about, but my face went red as I realized everyone was staring at me. Some were disappointed; others were disgusted. I tried to explain and apologize for my action, but the people began to say nasty words about me. Shocked and afraid, I asked the driver to take me to my apartment stat.

What Happened?

It took me a while to realize what I experienced. I was lucky to become friends with a therapist who lived in the same building as my apartment because she explained everything to me.

“You got judged of cutting in line, even though you did not mean to do that. You have been stereotyped in the process since many people with fairer complexion than others act like gods. In a way, that’s a form of bullying.”

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My eyes widened in shock upon learning about it. I was not born yesterday; I heard and read about bullying ages ago. However, since I always watched my actions and tried to be friendly to everyone, I never expected to be on the receiving end of it. Thus, I did not manage to prepare for the jarring feeling I experienced afterward – no less in the vicinity of my workplace.

The therapist told me that stereotyping is not the only thing that can get you bullied. You may also deal with it if:

You Are Well-Liked By Others

The primary reason behind bullying is the victim’s popularity. You will find at least a single envious person in every company, you see. If others like them, they will undoubtedly band together to take down the most well-liked individual at work.

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You Are Exceptionally Attractive

If you have a God-given beauty that does not require too much enhancement, people tend to feel jealous of you. That’s when some folks can get childish and spread the word that you only got your job because of your looks. Worse, they may get malicious and say that you are romantically involved with one of the bosses so that others will shun you.

You Come From A Minority Group

It is also common to find individuals bullied due to their ethnicity, religious beliefs, and whatnot. Although my companies try to reduce incidences like that to avoid getting accused of racial discrimination, the sad truth is that it still happens these days. Some people merely feel superior over others since they belong to the majority group.

You Get Judged For Your Previous Actions

The government encourages companies to hire reforming offenders, drug addicts, etc. Their goal is to give such people a second chance in life and keep them from reoffending. Despite those positive intentions, ex-convicts can experience bullying at work, especially from people who either fear them or feel too precious to be around them.

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You Do Not Fight Back

Furthermore, you can experience bullying if you make it known from the beginning that you do not engage in confrontations. Bullies are drawn to such characters because they interpret the action – or lack thereof – due to fear towards them. It may not even cross their mind that the people they are bullying are not fighting back since they are not worth the effort.

Final Thoughts

Bullying remains a problem in many institutions. If you have different views, you can get bullied. If you look different, you can get bullied. The perpetrators may not always do the bullying in the open to avoid public backlash, but it does not mean that it’s not happening behind closed doors.

I was lucky because the company building was massive enough to avoid crossing paths with the employees who accused me of enjoying white privilege. Remembering their judgmental stares hurt me for days, even though it was somewhat mild compared to what others experienced. I even considered going back home, but I realized that I should not let the bullies affect me too much. All I could do was make peace with the incident and move on.

The Need For Counseling Over A Stressful Job

During this pandemic, the most important thing that almost everyone wants and others do not want to lose is their jobs. That is because, in uncertain times like this, everything can become complicated. People deal with constant financial burdens due to the global health crisis, and no one can do anything about the cutbacks. A lot of industries are pausing or lowering their production, and more companies are shutting down. Unemployment is everywhere, and people are struggling to get a decent occupation.

Understandably, the whole world is dealing with a lack of opportunity due to the health crisis. That explains why sometimes, even the ones that don’t pay enough get highly in demand. Perhaps that is because the rate is not an important factor in this situation, but getting a job is. Having food on the table to feed the family is the main priority of all individuals. But what if that job is taking a toll on people’s lives? What if that particular job is causing a lot of emotional, physical, and mental trouble?

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If It Is Too Stressful, Should You Leave?

Many people would say that when the job is becoming too stressful, one should quit it. There are warning signs that indicate when it is time to leave and let go of the damaging routine. But many would agree today that statement only applies to the years where the world is still okay. Now that there is a pandemic and jobs are almost nowhere to find, people no longer see it that way. Meaning, despite the job being toxic and having less than minimum rate, it is considered a life-changing opportunity, especially for those who can’t afford to put food on the table.

But on a lighter note, given that people can still have many options, they can do things if their job literally makes them sick. When the situation gets unbearable, unlivable, and unhealthy, people need to consider making significant life-work decisions.

Express Disappointment In A Professional Way

If the job or workplace condition is somewhat toxic and takes a toll on the daily function of individuals affecting the production, then it is time to let the managers know about the issue. It is best to discuss problems concerning the job to avoid overreacting to small things about it. That way, both employees and managers or bosses can work on alternatives. But people should be mindful that expressing thoughts and feelings does not guarantee them a solid agreement. Sometimes, other people are hard to deal with, and not all excuses or reasoning are convincing and acceptable. Thus, whatever happens, the decisions should be respected at all costs.

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Remember That It Is Not All About You

Most bosses and superiors would not care if people feel like their job is getting stressful. That is because these individuals also experience the same feelings the employees have put in a different situation. If people feel like their job is unfair, it is not just them who feel that way. Business owners are dealing with unbearable financial losses due to the pandemic crisis. But the fact that they want to continue the business without an assurance of revenue is a huge risk. Their task is now tripled for managers and supervisors due to the necessary cost-cutting that companies do to save the business. The less they require human resources, the more tasks it needs to be given to a limited number of people.

Think About Things That Matter

The pandemic has caused many problems worldwide, and the most affected ones are normal citizens who lost their source of income. But that is not enough reason to blame the economy as they also struggle in keeping the business running. They cannot provide everything for the people, and they also need help. Thus, if the job description requires too much task, people should think about the consequences of accepting the offer. Understandably, they would grab onto it because there are not many vacancies left, and people are dying to get an occupation. But if both sides are not meeting halfway, either one needs to look for another job, and the other declines the application.

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Take Care Of The Overall Health

No one should put their physical, mental, and emotional health on the line only to collect a limited amount of paycheck. People should consider taking care of themselves if they genuinely have to. No job can save them when things go down. So as much as possible, all individuals should focus on healthy routines. It would be impossible to accomplish, considering the global situation, but right now, flexibility and adaptability are highly important. People need to focus on surviving this pandemic more than ever so they can enjoy life once this whole health crisis is over.

 

Health And Counseling: The Truth About Anger

We know it is normal to get angry and upset because sometimes stressors are difficult to bear. We have those moments where we find the world a little uncooperative, and that makes us feel uncomfortable. At times, we endure those pushes that leave us off the edge. There is just too much pressure, and we start to lose our minds. At some point, we validate our rage and believe that it fits at the moment. Thus, we impulsively act out and tend to become very irrational. We would let anger take over our ability to think clearly and create better decisions. It shuts down our sense of consideration towards things like tolerance and compassion.

But the danger of giving in to anger doesn’t stop there. Frequent times, when we get upset, we couldn’t handle it. It is as if we know we have to let all the raging emotions out. Because if we don’t, we know it can cause a lot of trouble than usual. That could lead us to a deep end where nothing will seem okay. We become preoccupied with anger that we didn’t notice it ruining our lives.

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Angry Than Hurt

Most of us can instantly tell the exact reason for our upset feelings. Usually, we get angry because of petty things like not getting what we want, people breaking their promises, hearing negative things about us, small disturbances, etc. The angry feelings we believe caused by unfortunate situations are sometimes not all that there is. In unfortunate conditions, our anger represents our deep sadness and emptiness that we cannot simply express. It is as if we only rely on anger so that we can hide our fears and pain. Let alone deal with it silently.

Over-Blown Sense Of Importance

The funny thing about anger is that usually, it gets a little over the edge, especially when we desire immediate validation. That is even if we are not entirely angry at the situation or there is no reason to be upset at all. Anger has this huge attachment to the statement “I believe I am right” that we hold on to for quite too long. We are somehow focused on one-way thinking that we deserve to be angry because things are not going our way.

Fear-Induced Reaction

While most of us understand that anger is quite a normal reaction to something upsetting, some use it to take advantage of the situation. People with a complicated mindset often feel the need to be angry because it brings them closer to achieving what they want. Regardless of the motive, an angry reaction often leads the other individuals to raise their flags. Anger somehow connotes a fear-induced reaction that supports aggressive behavior towards others.

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Unrealistic Perfection

Usually, when we get angry, one reason is that our expectations did not go our way. We have this specific preference for things that, when it turns out negatively, become overly frustrated. It somehow makes us drawn to perfection that we know is impossible to get. And since we do not lower our standards, our disappointments go up. So when we fail, we become out of control and infuriate. That is the problem because anger holds into our deepest desire for perfection, and eventually, it will start controlling us.

An Unknown Trap

Though it is often common, anger is quite unnecessary to many things. We somehow think that it is significantly important to release the unwanted rage we have. Thus, we yell and shout at others when things are getting out of hand. Somehow, we got by and thought that it is okay since people are used to the aggressive response. Unfortunately, some of us get caught up with anger and give in to its negative impact. That explains why we spit out unnecessary words, humiliating statements, and poor judgment towards others. Anger traps us into a situation where we talk insensitively and act stupidly, and these are things that often make our apologies unacceptable.

It Ends Things

An angry emotion is known by many but understood by few. Some of us can let things go and forget about an angry person’s stupid and insensitive actions. However, some cannot accept it. These individuals take the angry behavior seriously, so they choose to back off and stay away for good. Anger breaks a relationship and even ends it forever. It sets up a barrier and limits both sides to look into reconciliation perspective. Once anger taps into the emotional imbalance, everything becomes a notable source of disconnection.

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Final Thoughts

Learning to control our angry emotions, letting go of things we can’t handle, accepting the truth, and moving on are things that are sometimes incredibly difficult to do. However, if we put our mind and heart into bringing inner peace, we might stop the rage at some point.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About What Depression Looks Like

I bet you know what depression means. Generally, it is related to the unexplained negative thoughts and feelings that affect someone’s behavior. Depression represents sadness and loneliness. It relates to a non-stop emotional turmoil that leads to too much grief. People view depression as a crippling mental health condition that stays for longer periods.

In some cases, it creates intense pressure on an individual’s overall development that affects his goal, self-awareness, and social relationship with others. Yes, these are, in fact, true. Depression is entirely related to isolation, self-doubt, poor concentration, self-neglect, anger, anxiety, and emotional imbalance.

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However, the condition is not limited to vulnerable individuals as it can also affect even those with an outgoing personality. The minority of people dealing with mental health problems also includes those individuals that are extroverts, cheerful and funny, goal-oriented, motivated, and socially active. Thus, it makes the whole situation quite impossible to determine. Sometimes, those who laugh and smile the most are actually the ones who are dealing with severe depressive episodes.

Therefore, depression affects all individuals regardless of their emotional and mental strength. There is no way you can determine the condition just by sticking with the negative signs. There are cases that even if someone tends to be happy all the time, there is no guarantee that what the individual physically shows entirely represents their emotional and mental health state.

If you’re still confused, here are some of the few frequently asked questions that might help you further understand depression from a different perspective.

What is the number 1 cause of depression?

Depression can come from many factors, including faulty mood regulation, the stress in life, financial strain, death or loss of someone you love, medication, chronic illnesses, genetic vulnerability, drugs, and alcohol abuse. In teen depression, factors may also vary. Some of the causes of their mental health problems negatively impact self-esteem, such as academic problems, peer problems, obesity, and long-term bullying. Also, situations like being a victim or witness of violence, such as physical or sexual abuse, contribute greatly.

 What happens with the brain during a depression?

Depression triggers the entrance of cortisol, which damages the amygdala, hippocampus, and dorsomedial thalamus. But with the three, the amygdala often receives a lot of damage since it is responsible for emotional responses. Depression causes the amygdala to enlarge and makes it more active. When this particular enlargement and activeness continue to happen, it causes hormonal imbalance, sleep disturbances, and activity level changes.

What color is associated with depression?

The color associated with depression is the shade of gray. This almost dark hue of black most likely represents an individual’s blank and cloudy mental state. Though the color grey also represents neutrality and balance, it still depicts an emotionless, dull, and empty state of mind. But in general, mental health awareness is represented by a green-colored ribbon. The green was the color used to label individuals who were considered psychologically unstable or insane, especially in the 1800s.

 What type of thinking is often linked to depression?

Negative thinking is often associated with depression. Perhaps that is due to the closed-minded mentality that often leaves no space for positive resolution and intervention. When bad things happen, people begin punishing themselves with thoughts such as I am a total failure, I am no good, or nothing ever goes my way, not knowing that these words can lead to feelings of despair and emptiness that lasts for a long period.

 What age group has the highest rate of depression?

The age group with the most significant rate of depression is individuals aged 18-25. The major depressive episode was reported higher among adult females at 8.7% than males at around 5.3%. These individuals, respectively, reported experiencing two or more symptoms of the mental illness.

 Is it possible to diagnose yourself with depression?

In some instances, a self-test can help you decide what to do whenever you are feeling blue. However, it doesn’t entirely mean that you can clinically conclude your condition based on what you have read, answered, watched, or searched on the internet. Only a mental health expert and professional can diagnose your condition based on the provided symptoms you experience. They are the only ones allowed to treat and prescribe you medication.

 What is the most reliable symptom of depression?

The most reliable symptoms of clinical depression often include uncontrolled feelings of sadness, emptiness, tearfulness, and hopelessness. Usually, you often experience angry outbursts, irritability, and frustration, even over small things. There is also the loss of interest or pleasure in most activities you usually like. With all these symptoms, it is important to understand that every individual suffers from depression differently. Thus, some of the signs might not apply to those who manage their mental health issue well.

 What are the risk factors of depression?

Some of the risk factors linked to depression include genetics. When a family member used to have depression, it is more likely that you will also have it. Also, death or loss of someone you love, conflict, medication, drug and alcohol abuse, and financial strain increases the mental health condition’s risk. Other risk factors like physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse can also trigger and increase the severity of depression.

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 Can your mind create symptoms?

Yes. Your mind can manifest physical symptoms and can make it worse too. That is called psychosomatic. Though many individuals believe that psychosomatic symptoms are unreliable, these are considered real and can have a psychological cause.

 What are the nine types of depression?

The most common types of depression are manic depression or bipolar disorder, persistent depression, Depressive psychosis, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, seasonal depression, situational depression, perinatal depression, and major depression.

 What are the five signs of mental illness?

The five notable indications of mental illness are excessive paranoia, worry, or anxiety. There is also irritability, long-lasting sadness, extreme moods, eating or sleeping patterns changes, and social withdrawal. In some instances, people experience significant tiredness, low energy, or problems sleeping.

 How can I test my mental health?

The first step to test your mental health is to recognize the signs and symptoms. If there is a change in the pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behavior, visit a doctor or mental health professional. You can also consider online screening. It is also considered the most convenient way to learn whether you are enduring the indications of a psychological issue such as anxiety and depression.

 Why is Googling symptoms a bad idea?

Googling your mental health symptoms can sometimes help. However, self-diagnosing your symptoms using tons of information from the internet can mask a potentially dangerous disease. Because in addition to incorrect diagnoses, there are instances that some of the recommendations can make your symptoms worse. It is best to consult professional medical experts if you think you might be having a health issue.

 How can you tell if someone is mentally ill?

Each illness has its symptoms, and individuals experience them differently. But common symptoms of mental illness in adolescents and adults can be general. These include excessive worrying or fear, confused thinking, feeling excessively sad or low, or problems learning and analyzing.

 How do I get better mentally?

You can always feel better when you talk about and deal with your problems. If you can’t, you can always ask for help. Never allow yourself to feel alone. Get in touch with people, take a break from stress, and care for yourself. Remember that some of these tips might work well with others and not with you. With that, you have to find a way to broaden your wellness option and learn coping skills applicable to your physical, mental, and emotional ability.

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Takeaway

Depression is a serious condition that you should address immediately. Of course, there are chances that the signs and symptoms may come extremely indistinguishable. But one should not stop taking care of his or her mental state. It would be the best option to learn more about the sudden emotional and mental changes.

 

Confronting Mental Health Problems To Stop Bullying Others

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I am a bully.

I used to be hell-bent on denying that for as long as I could remember. Many people used the word “bully” to describe me, but I never identified as such. All I knew was that I was having the best time of my life and that there was nothing wrong with it.

The only wake-up call I had was when I saw a group of seniors bullying my sister to give them her lunch money when I was in high school. From the other side of the hallway, I could already see them surrounding a small student backed up on the lockers. No one knew that she was my sister at the time because, hello, it was only the first day of school, and we didn’t walk around together all the time. But as I got closer, I could overhear their conversation.

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Senior 1: Ooh, cool bag! How much dough did your momma give you today, Ms. Freshman?

Sister: Uhm, $10. Why do you care?

Senior 2 (grabbing her bag): That’s cool. Let’s see how crisp a ten-dollar bill is now. (He proceeded to rummage through the bag.)

When I showed up, my sister ran straight to me and hid behind me, while the bullies dropped her bag. One managed to ask, “Do you know this girl?” 

With my head held up, I said, “Yes, she’s my sister. Have you got a problem with her?”

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No one tried to bully my little sister again after that. However, that incident showed me that I was also a bully like those other kids. I would never try to steal someone’s money or harass them if they didn’t give it immediately, but I used to join in when my classmates passed around some student’s backpack or turned them into laughingstocks. Heck, I even high-fived the boys who flipped the girls’ skirts in the hallways.

I had been wrong, and I know it now. 

Hitting Rock-Bottom (Intentionally)

I was honestly ashamed to admit to my family that I was a bully, even though I wanted to do everything to rectify my mistakes. It’s just that my parents had always been kind and law-abiding citizens their entire lives; I didn’t want them to feel like there’s something wrong with their parenting skills. Thus, in the beginning, I kept the news to myself.

I looked up the reasons behind bullying on the internet and found that peer pressure was on top of the list. That’s correct—I had seen it happen first-hand—but I didn’t think it applied much to me. In reality, some of my friends were blatantly telling me to stop messing with others, so they were obviously not pressuring me to bully anyone.

Some folks also said that it could be a way to make someone pay for whatever they did to the bully. Well, since I was among the biggest football players at school, I had never encountered a fellow student who poked fun at me. It was usually the other way around, so no, it wasn’t due to payback either.

Then, after some time, I came across two words: pleasure and popularity.

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Source: pxfuel.com

As mentioned above, I was on the football team. The taller and bulkier a player was, the higher their popularity level was. And I wasn’t exempted from that. Almost every day, I would open my locker and see love letters and proposals from girls who wanted to be my girlfriend. Besides that, some guys looked up to me, and I wanted to show how cool I was by—pardon my French—helping them bully others.  

I guess I liked the attention a little too much, to the extent that I didn’t see how my actions started having adverse effects on others’ lives.

Seeking Mental Help

When I realized what was probably wrong with me, I asked my parents if they could take me to a mental health professional. Although I had an idea of curbing my bullying tendencies, I felt the need to consult a psychologist before I faced anyone at school again. In the process, I also had to tell my parents about my awful behavior. They were disappointed with me, but they were willing to give me another chance because they saw how much I wanted to turn my life around.

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Source: pxfuel.com

The psychologist said that I should apologize to every person that I bullied. There were a few of them, so I spent an entire month tracking them down and finding a way to make them accept my apology. After that, the mental health expert recommended that I attend group counseling with fellow reforming teenage bullies. I did not know how it would benefit me initially, but I was glad to sign up for it without asking too many questions because I ended up loving it. 

Five years later, I am already taking a Master’s degree in Child Psychology. Bullying is nothing but a part of my history. When I finish all the necessary training, I want to help troubled teenagers (like I have once been) get their lives back on track.

Dealing With The Family Bully

 

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As opposed to what most of us think, bullying is not something that can suddenly go away, like a rash, an exam, or a problem solved. As a matter of fact, it persists throughout the adult years and is evident in almost all aspects and situations. Apart from the popularized topics of online bullying, sibling bullying, and school bullying, the infamous act of bullying is also evident within families and even among adults. And most often, family bullying occurs merely due to the bully having never learned how to connect with the rest healthily. Also, it sometimes happens because the bully member of the family wants to control and handle different kinds of situations. If, like me, someone in the family is a bully, here are several strategies that you can try to keep matters under control.

Always confide in someone you can trust.

If and when you need to spill the beans on what happened to you, do it with someone that you feel close with, someone you have been confiding your innermost feelings with for quite some time. It can be your sister, brother, or close friend. The key is to keep away from the useless chatter. Find someone supportive of you and genuinely cares about you. Some individuals go straight to their family members rather than their friend, but be cautious when you do so. As most, if not all of us, may have experienced, family members might have the urge to resolve the issue and end up worsening it immediately.

What’s important is that you confide in someone who can be trusted not to say anything when they don’t need to in the first place. He or she needs to be someone who will not make things even more difficult for you. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should keep mum about it when you are bullied, but confiding about it to one person can tremendously help in making you feel less alone and anxious. Ultimately, having someone who can listen to whatever you might say and keeping you levelheaded in the process is undoubtedly one of the best things that you need. So choose the right person to trust in.

 

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Don’t get too emotional.

When you are trying to deal with bullying in the family, stay composed and don’t show frustration or rage. If you can’t control the bully, you can indeed control your actions. Keep your calm, and do not in any way, interact with the bully. On the contrary, do some journaling about the events that have happened so far, remembering to include vital information, such as dates and places. This will help you find any behavioral patterns.

Set Limitations.

When we’re talking about a family bully, it is crucial that we set clear limitations between the two of you. For example, if your partner’s brother never stops insulting what you do or say to the point of embarrassment, tell her straight out that you don’t like what he’s doing and that you would like for it to stop. If he keeps doing it, then you always have the option not to invite him over your place even though the rest of the family is invited. You need to set rules and restrictions to keep respect. If this happens to you with other family members as well, you need to do the same – keep your contact with them to a minimum. You don’t need to tolerate their behaviors just because they’re family.

Decide for yourself.

When someone bullies you, you always have a choice, and you always have to make a decision. You can try to forget about it, allow the bully to continue disrespecting you, ignore the bully, or respond with an act of subtle but sweet revenge. Whatever you do, please do not give in to what he wants by reacting negatively at the expense of your self-respect and dignity. Be composed. Don’t behave the way he does. You have the last say about what you should do. Decide wisely.

Maintain or increase your confidence.

Bullies – whether in the family or not – know how to choose whom they can control and influence. Don’t let him know you’re anxious (if you are) and avoid showing defeat or insecurity. When you stand up for yourself and show strength and confidence, you are one step ahead of the person bullying you. Most importantly, be respectful and keep the bully from bullying, even your mind.

 

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Take a break from everything.

Living life with a bully in the family could be exhausting and daunting at the same time. Commit to giving yourself time to relax and take a break from all the thinking. Take a hike. Go beaching with your friends. Visit the spa. Or enjoy the silence in a place where you will feel peaceful and happy. Whatever you do, make sure that will help you take out a portion of negativity from you every time you have that break.

Ultimately, if bullying in the family harms your mental and emotional health, consider seeking professional help from someone who is experienced and qualified in tackling family issues.

 

 

Ways To Stop Bullying During This Pandemic

Bullying is a widespread problem, and it can take a toll on an individual’s self-confidence as well as physical and emotional aspects. In this time of the pandemic, a lot of people are suffering from bullying, especially those people that have a related Coronavirus issue. Since most individuals want to blame a specific race, the emotional, physical, and mental abuse heightens. So what do you do if ever you belong to the ones who are being bullied? Here are some ways that can help you protect yourself from harm, boost your self-confidence, and find help.

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Remember That Bullying Is Not Your Fault

Honestly, there are multitudes of reasons why bullies bully other people, and these have nothing to do with you. Most likely, it has a lot to do with their personal issues. Some bullies are emotionally and mentally struggling that they often find bullying an outlet to get rid of their suffering. So if you are being bullied, always remember that it is not your fault. Do not think of yourself as a loser based on your bullies’ description of you. You will only end up viewing an inaccurate portrait of who you are. If you want to fight the negative effect of your bullies torment, you need to work on appreciating the unique qualities that can make you stand out from the crowd.

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Surround Yourself With People Who Care About You

Bullies often target individuals who they know are vulnerable and alone. That is why you need to build an army and surround yourself with people that can protect and care for you. These individuals should accept you for who you are. When you are with the right set of friends, who are willing to stand up for you, bullies will have a hard time finding reasons to hurt you. It is essential that you feel safe and secured around people. It will help you maintain a better environment that can boost your self-esteem. So always remember to stick with your friends.

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Ignore The Bullies And Never Associate With Them

Ignoring bullies is one of the recommended things that you should follow. It is an anti-bully tactic that works best for a lot of situations. Understand that most of the time bullies bully you because they want to get reactions. They need to validate their capabilities because they know inside them; they are incapable of a lot of things. They rely on bullying because they want to cover or hide their weaknesses. They seek attention because they do not often receive the kind that builds their emotional and mental well-being. So next time you encounter bullies, ignore them. The second you feel overwhelmed and unsafe, find a way to remove yourself from the situation. Because if they don’t receive any response, they will eventually get bored and move on.

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Find Someone To Talk To And Speak Out

If you experience bullying, you need to speak out. Find the right persons to talk to if you feel unhappy, unsafe, and uncomfortable with the situation. Seek for someone who you can trust. These can be your close friends, a parent, a teacher, or a guidance counselor. You need to open up and tell them what is going on. You are not the only one coping and experiencing an unfortunate case of bullying, so you need to be brave enough to share your experience so others can know and do something about it. Always remember that there are people out there who are willing to help and support you. You need to extend an arm and reach out for their help and support.