A relationship can go with the saying that “if you love someone, you’ll have to learn to accept all their imperfections.” Well, that is quite applicable to some degree. However, not all imperfections are acceptable, and most of the time it needs proper handling especially when it’s turning the relationship upside down.
A bully partner thinks that they don’t have anything to learn. They’re too perfect that they cannot see any negative things in their behavior. Honestly, they don’t like listening, and they perceive a friend or family advice as an attack on their personality. It will be a difficult battle between accepting your significant other’s character and trying to get away from the negativity of a toxic relationship. So what can you do to handle the stressful situation of having a bullying partner? Here are some things you can work on.
Love Yourself – There’s more to it than understanding a relationship. Loving yourself is the first step to avoiding emotional neglect. You have to remind yourself that the only way you can get rid of the abuse is by appreciating your strength and working on your weaknesses. You have to value your emotions, thoughts, and actions because eventually, you’ll be able to understand that love isn’t something that will put you in a devastating situation.
Be Free – By allowing yourself to decide for your happiness, you will experience a boosted self-confidence. A bullying partner may attack by chances so you shouldn’t let your guard down. Don’t allow them to empower you and dictate the things that you should and shouldn’t do. Be free and choose to do the things that you know will help you grow and develop a positive personality. Steve Taylor, PhD, wrote, “One of the primary ways in which we can develop positively and begin to live more meaningfully is to transcend the influence of our environment, and become more oriented towards who we authentically are.”
Ignore Arguments – The more you dive into the idea that your bullying partner is more capable of handling the situation, the less you’ll see your worth. Do not allow them to take control and always stick to your positive ideas. Always avoid arguments that will put you in a situation where you’ll end up agreeing to their demands. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD, wrote that a characteristic of an emotional bullying partner is that, “No matter how hard you try and how much you give, it’s never enough. She expects you to drop whatever you’re doing and attend to her needs.” Make sure not to indulge yourself in a position that only requires negative responses.
Trust Your Instinct – Do not doubt yourself even once because your controlling significant other might use it against you to tear you apart. Do not allow your partner to use your weaknesses as an excuse for the wrongful things they might do to you. You have to trust yourself and be confident enough to say “enough.”
Don’t Change For Their Benefit – You as a person have your personality and forcibly changing it just to be able to get your partner’s approval is going to be a huge mistake. You don’t have to become someone that you are not. You have to understand that adjustments should be made when it’s necessary and not because it gets demanded.
Soma Roy Choudhary. PhD, strongly advises: “Change yourself if you have a good reason, but not to please anyone else.”
Dump Them – There’s no reason to stay in a relationship where a controlling partner is becoming your source of weakness. A healthy relationship promotes self-growth provided by care, understanding, and unconditional love. When it tries to damage your overall wellbeing, then perhaps it’s better for you to let go and get away from a bullying partner as fast as you can.
There are not enough words to say how damaging a bullying partner can get. You might change the way you see things in life, but one thing will always be clear – the real meaning of love is given wholeheartedly by a person that values your worth.