What Not To Say To A Bullied Kid

Every parent wants nothing but the best for her child. As a mother, your ultimate goal is to see to it that your beloved kid experiences love and happiness at all times. However, some things are beyond your control. There will come a time when all your efforts to keep him safe and sound would still not make him feel protected. Unfortunately, other factors can hurt your child, which will make him feel indifferent to his friends or family members.

 

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One of the pressing issues that your child may be involved with is bullying, which usually happens at school. A recent study shows that bullied kids do not report the unbelievable acts committed by the bullies in the fear that they will appear weak. “They may worry that admitting they’re victims will disappoint their parents,” says Jerry Weichman, PhD, licensed psychologist.

At the same time, they are also hesitant to talk to their elders because of the potential harm that they will receive once the bullies find out that they have been reported. For this reason, it becomes more difficult for parents to find out what is going on. Susan Swearer, PhD, says,  “About 60 percent of children don’t tell their parents when they’re being picked on at school.”

If you ever discover that your child has experienced bullying from his classmates or schoolmates, the first thing that you need to do is to talk to your kid. Make an effort to explain to him why bullying is bad and why he should have informed you about it earlier. Never approach the bullies without talking to a teacher or any officer-in-charge of the school. The best and ideal way to deal with the problem is to keep your cool. Focus on helping your child recover from the unfortunate event instead of planning on how to get back to the bullies.

 

 

At this point, it is vital to highlight that a bullied individual is a sensitive one. It means that he has a high tendency of getting offended or feeling harassed by the words he hears from others. Hence, it is essential on your part to be careful when it comes to talking to him. As much as possible, think twice before you will open your mouth. What you say can affect him in so many ways, which is why you must be careful.

Here are some of the lines or sentences that you must never say to a bullied kid:

“What Did You Do To Make The Bullies Hate You?”

These words are hurtful for it makes the bullied victim responsible for what the bullies did to him. At the same time, it is as if you are telling your kid that he is the reason why he was subjected to an embarrassing situation. Keep in mind that no matter what the reason is for bullying, the said act is still unacceptable. Stop blaming the victim. What you must do is to find a way to make him feel loved and appreciated. You must not end up being another bully that cause more emotional pain to him.

“Why Did You Not Fight Back?”

 

There are several reasons why your kid chose not to stand up against the bullies. For one, “bullies thrive on the back-and-forth dialogue,” says Peeper Davanzo, LCSW. Do not forget the reality that the bullies can cause intimidation and harm. Therefore, it will not appear or come as a surprise if your child felt afraid of how the bullies treated him inside the school campus or in other public places. Something inside your child wanted to fight back, but he could not do it because of fear and violence. Asking him why he chose not to can remind him of his weakness.

 

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“You Must Act Strong At All Times.”

 

This line is another way of showing to your child that he is a weakling. The best thing that you can do for your kid is to show him that he is a tough individual. Let him know that you find him amazing and fantastic at all times. Remind him of the fact that he can be strong in such a way that you will not sound imposing. Otherwise, your child will never recover from what happened to him. He will lose his confidence if you continue to insist on this matter.

 

“Say Sorry To The Bullies”

 

While your intention of making amends between your child and the bullies is admirable, do not forget that your child is the victim in the situation. He is not the one who is supposed to say sorry to the bullies. It is the other way around because the latter has caused damage and harm to your child. They are the ones responsible for the emotional or physical pain that your kid has suffered for days or even months. Because of this, it is only right and just for them to apologize. Forcing your child to do otherwise will only make the situation worse.

 

The most important thing that you have to do is to let your child know that you have his back at all times. Show him that you love him for who he is. Never become one of the bullies in your child’s life.

 

The Mental Degradation Effect Of Bullying

We know that the deliverables of bullying are through physical injury. However, that doesn’t exclude the mental harm associated with the act. It causes emotional stress that in some cases, results in death. The victims are at risk of getting anxiety and depression, as well as psychosomatic issues such as belly pains, muscle aches, and headaches.

The mental effects of bullying hinder or stop the person from functioning. But not all side effects lean toward the victim alone. The abuser can suffer from overall severe health problems too. In most cases, the abuser experiences struggle in school, turns to substance abuse and engages in violent behavior as adults. Therefore, these psychological conditions from bullying are not limited to the victims but also to the bullies as well.

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The Different Sides Of Bullying

The danger of bullying sometimes makes people dependent on their perception of reality. They see the world as something violent and evil. The worst part about it is that those who suffer from the act don’t tell anyone about their situation. And the ones who commit the act begin to enjoy doing it for no apparent reason. Both of them watch themselves get hurt, suffer, and feel pain.  Though they process a different experience of bullying, both of them are responsible for their well-being. Victims and bullies shut their doors and create another world where they can become someone they are not. One gets to feel the psychological pressure through physical and emotional discomfort. The other one suffers from physical and emotional distress due to mental illness.

As an intervention, “Many anti-bullying programs involve social skills training to help children manage their negative emotions in more constructive ways,” clinical psychologist Dr. Mike Friedman shares. “These programs need to be able to empathize with the goals of bullying and help provide additional options to achieve goals of social dominance and self-esteem.”

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The Thoughts About Bullying

Is bullying a mental disorder or some people just might think that bullying is not a big deal? Some of them may consider it as something that kids frequently undergo. But is it? When it comes to any kind of physical and emotional damage, the mental health problems in bullying begin to break. Not because it wants to get rid of the pain, but rather to distribute it inside its system. Therefore, as the condition begins to affect a person’s overall balance, it slowly rips everything inside his mental health little by little.

This perception about bullying controls the people involved—both the bully, the bullied, as well as the bystanders and onlookers—in the situation. “Often, students may feel that they have to handle bullying situations on their own or that it’s their responsibility to change what’s happening,” PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center coordinator Bailey Huston, MEd, says.

Bullying is strong, and people already have that topic in their heads. They already think about it over and over again. In some unfortunate events, it becomes the foundation of their lives. It destroys everything that people want, it ruins their every little desire and damages their strong relationships as well. Every word and unnecessary actions can make someone feel dead inside. It was awful and horrible.

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Victims of bullying often feel alone and hopeless. They see themselves as worthless individuals that are no good for anything. They get stuck in the idea that they are never going to be enough for someone. But believe it or not, those specifications are what the bullies also feel. Due to their uncontrolled emotional struggles, they use bullying as an escape to the things they can’t handle. They, themselves, can’t control the stigma of being left alone and unwanted. Bullies are sad individuals that long for someone to save them from despair.

“While not a popular view, bullies lack the skill, not the will, to behave better,” wrote associate professor and endowed chair in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Stuart Ablon, PhD. “If we want to effectively address bullying, we need to focus on helping bullies develop the skills they need to not bully.

How Can Parents Handle Grief And Bullying? 

All parents play an important or significant role in improving the lives of their children. The guidance of mothers and fathers are essential in upbringing responsible and respectful young individuals. As a parent yourself, you need to become more aware of what you have to accomplish for the welfare of your kids. Aside from this, there is also a necessity on your part to reach out to your children so that you will have an idea of what is going on in their lives when you are not around.

 

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Types Of Bullying And Its Effects

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It is a fact that bullying is almost experienced by everyone in one way or another during their school-aged years. The only difference is seen in the severity of bullying and form of bullying used by the bullies. Bullying is an issue that needs laser focus since it is considered a major risk factor for suicide, depression, anxiety, and disruption of schooling. 

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The Best Therapy To Use While In Grief

The anguish after losing someone – a partner, family, or friend – is the biggest concern of all. To prevent the problems caused by misery or grief, consider seeking therapy either through individual or group therapy (especially if the sorrow has taken you to the point of almost no return).

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Learn how grief therapy services for dealing with sorrow can help you deal with the uncomfortable emotions that come with the grieving process. There are additional resources you can also rely upon.

How Is Grief Therapy Important In Overall Healing?

Understanding Complicated Grief Therapy

It is normal for people to feel lonely due to the painful experience of loss or losing someone they loved. That’s part of the grief process. Even if the despair often makes you weak and vulnerable to an emotional roller coaster, it gives you a sense of realization that life has no consistency. In the grieving process, this is all but normal.

Therapy for despair or sorrow can be helpful for those struggling to cope with the death of a loved one. It can help individuals who are having trouble sleeping or trouble eating, and those who are struggling to make funeral arrangements or plan a memorial service. Through the various stages of grief, including the use of concrete words to express emotions, this method can aid in the healing process and provide individuals with the support they need during the acceptance stage of the deceased loved one.

What Do Therapists Say And How Do They Use Grief Therapy?

According to a mental health expert specializing in techniques for grief and loss, in the essence of grieving, there are possible techniques that you can indeed use to deal with your complicated grief. Grief counseling or therapy will help you identify the sorrowful-related concerns that you need to address so you can normally function daily. It will benefit you and your family members.

Dealing With Grief Healthily

Moreover, this is a form of treatment offered by mental health professionals that helps individuals who have experienced a significant loss of a loved one or the death of a loved one, such as a human family member, to work through their deep grief healthily. It involves utilizing grief resources and therapy techniques, along with healthy coping mechanisms, to distinguish grief and navigate through the five stages of grief, ultimately aiding in the healing process. Joining a support group with a mental health professional is also a common recommendation to help people grieve in a healthy and supportive environment.

Group therapy methods in managing grief courses are necessary so you can find the right way to properly grieve while not allowing the mental illness to take over. So, seek grief therapy now to alleviate your prolonged grief.

Things You Can Do To Help Overcome Despair

Grief Counseling Techniques You Can Practice To Cope With Grief

Writing Therapy

It is a useful method that allows your brain to internalize ideas despite your prolonged grief disorder signs and symptoms. Writing or talk therapy promises to show effectiveness as it will help you slowly overcome the risk of traumatic experiences while letting your emotions out. You can cry and feel sad about your loss. It is an adequate coping mechanism because you can thoroughly be open about yourself through hours of sessions and attempt to improve your mental health, according to a grief counselor.

“There is a growing body of evidence that demonstrates the beneficial effects of writing. Just 20 minutes at a time over four consecutive days was associated with a decrease in health problems, such as enhancing the immune system functioning,” explains Shilagh Mirgain, Ph.D., a psychologist at UW Health.

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Here Are Some Of The Beneficial Treatments That Helps With Bereavement

Mental Rejuvenation

The process of deep mental rejuvenation is what psychotherapy focuses on. Contrary to what others claim, it is not a complicated grief treatment. Therapy gives you the advantage of knowing the kind of mental health condition you may be having and lets you work on suffering through psychological discussion, says a veteran grief therapist.

Therapy aids your emotional heartache as well as your mental behavior that affects your capability and that of your family members or support groups to cope with your loss. A grief counselor uses specific counseling techniques to address problems such as drug abuse or substance abuse, alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, sadness, and sleep disorder, and provides you with healthy coping skills.

Grief therapy also provides a safe space for people dealing with the difficult emotions that come with death and dying. While everyone’s experience of normal grief may vary dramatically, working through the five stages of grief can be a difficult process. Therapy can help individuals cope with their emotions and offer support throughout their healing journey, ensuring they get enough sleep and care for themselves during this difficult time.

Art Expression Treatment Therapy – What Is It?

“Art therapy is about using creativity and art-making to help people understand themselves, find a voice, and “communicate things for which there are no words,” Girija Kaimal, EdD, MA, ATR-BC, assistant professor in the creative therapies department at Drexel University says.

Art play therapy is distinct from using art therapeutically because art therapists are looking to meet very specific therapy goals about issues such as addiction, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety.”

Using art as a therapeutic form of expression is a better mechanism that can help you get through the emotions you are having your way. Art therapy is an excellent way to keep you encouraged and motivated to focus on the positive things in life rather than allowing distractions to harm your overall health drastically.

Therapy can also help you discover or enhance talents in composing songs, playing musical instruments, writing a poem, painting, and sculpturing.

Animal Treatment Therapy

Therapy involving animals is well-known to children. However, people accept and use therapy as a coping mechanism that guides individuals to process nurturing affection transferred in their pets.

Animal therapy allows unbiased support and information service that gives a person a chance to divert their despair to happy thoughts and create another relationship with beloved animals.

“Ever since, people have been turning to pets for comfort and support during periods of emotional turmoil. Hugging and speaking with a pet who won’t judge you for your feelings or thoughts is cathartic and helps people get through rough times,” Allison White, ACSW, LCSW, CCDP-D, reveals.

Grief Support Groups: Learn From The Other Members’ Experience

Therapy for grief or anguish helps kids, teens, parents, adults, and people in different communities in a lot of ways. The treatment gives an individual a chance to understand other people’s points of view regarding death and losing a loved one.

Therapy will help them express themselves while learning new things and getting to know other people with the same experiences. They can honestly share stories and life lessons from treatment sessions. They can typically share it through a text message or phone call and even via video conversation.

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Insights And Takeaways To Consider On Grief Therapy

Treatment For A Loss is Not A Bad Idea

Grieving over someone can sometimes cause a person to destroy himself by doing unhelpful coping mechanisms. That is the reason why most therapists suggest that an individual should look after his health.

Though the grieving process can take a while, certainly, the main goal is still to produce a productive life after the loss. Always refer to make yourself better by clicking here.

If you need help, speak or consult a therapist or a medical professional about your mental health condition. Visit their site for more resources and options.

FAQs

  1. How Long Does Grief Last?

  2. Is Grief Counseling A Good Idea?

  3. What Is The Best Way To Process Grief?

  4. How Do People Overcome Grief?

  5. What are some questions to ask about grief?
  6. What are the 7 tools to process grief?
  7. What are the principles of grief counseling?
  8. What are some practical skills you can use when communicating with someone experiencing grief?
  9. What type of therapy is used for grief?
  10. Is grief counseling effective?
  11. How do I know what stage of grief I am in?
  12. Can grief affect your brain?
  13. How long should a person grieve?
  14. What kind of therapy is best for grief?
  15. What is the most common way to deal with grief?

Psychiatrists’ Opinion on Bullying and Psychiatric Disorders

The effects of bullying are among the most fought issues by psychiatrists. These effects result in a long-lasting and adverse impact on the mind, which can lead to psychiatric concerns. Bullying is a problem that prevents children from living a healthy life. However, how much do we know about it? What do psychiatrists say regarding this matter? Is it possible to prevent it? How can parents help if their children are victims or perpetrators of bullying?

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What is bullying

Psychiatrists say that bullying is a progressing and undesirably aggressive behavior between individuals involving a struggle for dominance. The actions of bullying may include verbal, social, and physical assault. Verbal form implies the use of words for taunting, teasing, threats, and inappropriate sexual annotations while social bullying involves harming an individual’s reputation or relationships by humiliating, spreading rumors, and other actions that can exclude them from having social relations. On the other hand, physical bullying is an act that injures an individual’s body or possessions by the use of force such as punching, kicking, tripping or pinching.

Effects of Bullying


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Studies have concluded that both victim and the offender of bullying have rates significantly surpassing those who are not engaged in bullying. The victims have higher rates of acquiring mood disorders such as nervous breakdowns, depression, anxiety, and sleeping issues according to psychiatrists.

“I was surprised that a decade down the road after they’ve been victimized, when they’ve kind of transitioned to adulthood, we would still see these emotional marks for the victims and also the bullies/victims,” says William Copeland, a clinical psychologist.

On the other hand, offenders have higher rates of becoming rebellious with disruptive behavior. The research concludes that both the victim and offender have the highest risk of acquiring a psychiatric disorder – seven times greater in comparison to individuals with no bullying experiences. It is advisable for these individuals to ask the help of a psychiatrist to inhibit the elevation of mental and emotional damage.

“There’s a connection between bullying in elementary school and middle school and adult criminal behavior. We need to get these kids off that trajectory,” Susan Swearer, PhD, says.

How Parents Can Help

Parents should always be on guard with the possibility of their child being a victim or a perpetrator. They should not be too unconcerned if their child shows signs of distress. Psychiatrists mention that it may be a sign of bullying.

  • Pay attention – It is of utmost importance to listen to your children if they disclose anything about them being a victim of bullying. If you fail to attend to their concern, it would be challenging for them to talk about it to anybody. Many victims would choose to suffer in silence because they feel embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid.
  • Tell them not to hurt others unjustly – It is heavily advised if your child is the bully. Parents need to make their children understand how important it is not to suppress and harm others unless it is self-defense.
  • Don’t criticize your child – Encourage them and tell your children that they did the right thing. Try to emphasize that being bullied is not their fault. “Try to avoid questions like, ‘Did you say something to upset these people?’ or ‘Did you do something to them first?’” advises Katie Hurley, LCSW, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting expert, and writer.
  • Don’t be passive – Convince your child that you and those with authorization can make bullying stop. Reach for the anti-bullying program in their school if they have one.

 

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Bullying is a societal issue and not an individual problem. You as a parent should make your children understand this truth. It is the first step in fighting and addressing the troubles of bullying.

 

How To Emotionally Deal With Miscarriage

Pregnancy is something a woman can look forward to, and as much as possible, she will take extra care of the life inside their womb. However, there are unavoidable circumstances that can lead to pain and suffering. Thus, a person’s emotional behavior and health conditions may be put at stake.

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Useful Tips to Follow If You Want To Become The Bigger Person

Arguments can be pretty exhausting especially if you’re always getting dragged into one and you don’t know how to get out of it. One of the most common bits of advice that the people around us would say whenever that happens is to be the “bigger person.” The way they say it makes it sound like it’s an easy thing to do, but it’s actually not.

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